My only Internet access is on my cell phone. So please don’t ask me to do your research for you, but jump right on it if I ask you to research something for me. Don’t ask me to provide links to back up my ridiculous claims. I can’t. If I ask you to provide links to back up your ridiculous claims, be quick about it, before my battery dies. If I’ve said something that offends you, it was a typo. (stupid phone.) If you’ve said something that offends me, take it back. I can’t copy & paste, so if I try to quote you, I’ll probably get it wrong. If it bothers you, you fix it. I don’t get notifications when I have new messages, so you might think I’m ignoring you. Maybe I am.

If you didn’t get a chuckle out of this then I’m probably not as funny as I think I am, but I’m probably not as snotty as you think I am either. My cell phone really does have these annoying limitations, so I hope you'll show some compassion and cut me some slack. You never know; in your next life, you might come back as someone who has to type all your messages on a cell phone keypad.