Ode To Ted Kennedys Liver
Since Jul 28, 2005

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Michael Moore is a fat idiot.

Dying ain't much of a living.

From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as 
a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says
 "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says
"Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are
fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have
a few concerns.
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should
be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to
be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.
I've posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to 
scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while 
we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote
"Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-
Its were gone.
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to
infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol 
will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Death to infidels,

Go Gators!!