Since Nov 10, 2000
Dansangel:Where and when were you born?
Sparkomatic: I was born and raised in Central Indiana on April 25, 1964. I grew up as a farm boy/truck driver's son. I have 3 brothers and no sisters. My mom is from Tennessee so I'm part hillbilly. I was raised as a Christian but was not a practicing Christian until about 1993.
I understand you were in the, uh, military. Tell me that wasn't your choice, was it?
Sparkomatic: I joined the army at 18. I was a military intelligence analyst at Ft. Bragg. My official job title was electronic warfare signals intelligence non-communications interceptor, but military intelligence (MI) analyst is a lot easier to say.
Says sparkomatic, I was a lean mean fighting machine then. I was 6'1" and 155lbs. Could bench better than 200 lbs, run 2 miles in about 12 1/2 minutes, do over 100 sit ups, blah blah blah.
Dansangel: I'll say. I guess you didn't exactly keep a low profile while you were in the military.
Sparkomatic: I arrived at Ft. Bragg in late summer of '83. I immediately volunteered to be a duty bod in the Grenada invasion. I was only 19 and fresh out of basic training, AIT and jump school. I was very gung ho at the time. I didn't have my security clearance yet. All I wanted to do was get my chance to shoot some bad guys. I think I've grown up some since then. I did get my security clearance not long after that. I continued to work in MI even after leaving the military in '91. I had a 3 month TDY to NSA where I worked during the Achille Lauro thing in the Mediterranean.
Dansangel: Throughout all of this, were you able to have any sort of family life?
Sparkomatic: My wife and I have 4 children together. I met my wife in 89. She was one of my troops. I was a squad leader. We got married only 6 months after we met.
Dansangel: I'm sure that made you settle down somewhat and stay closer to home, no?
Sparkomatic: I went to Panama during the "let's get Noriega" invasion. I was only there about 2 weeks. I went to Saudi Arabia in Sep 90. My wife followed me about 2 weeks later. Our 4 month old daughter went to live with her grandparents in central, rural Ohio. We both returned from the Gulf in March and April of 91. Shortly thereafter we both left the military.
Dansangel: So, did that get working for the government out of your system?
Sparkomatic: I got a job working at the Naval Research Laboratory in Wash DC. I worked there as an MI analyst for a few more years. During that time I began attending community college. I got my AS in computer science then moved on to University of Maryland University College for my bachelors which I never finished. We moved to Ohio to my wife's hometown in 97. I now work as a computer programmer for the American Chemical Society.
Dansangel: OK, let's try a different subject. Are you one of those right-wing whackoes I seem to keep running into lately?
Sparkomatic: I've never been actively involved in any sort of political stuff. In fact, up until about 1993 years ago I didn't even know the difference between a liberal and a conservative.
Dansangel: That's refreshing!
Sparkomatic: When I was in middle school I voted for Jimmy Carter in our mock election. With the exception of that one deviation I've voted mostly Republican ever since. I've been Republican all my life, but never knew why. I just knew I was a Republican.
Dansangel: I just *knew* it was too good to be true.
Sparkomatic: During the first Clinton election I was stupid then and voted for H Ross Perot. I guess I was impressed with all the charts and graphs.
Dansangel: Stupid? I'd say it was darned brilliant!
Sparkomatic: During the next Clinton election I voted for Bob Dole. By this time I was actually starting to pay attention to current events, politics, etc. This time I actually knew what I was doing.
Dansangel: That's debatable.
Sparkomatic: In fact, I can honestly say that Clinton did something good for me. He got me interested in politics. For me, the hot button issues are: Abortion and 2nd Amendment rights. I support Bush all the way. He isn't perfect.
Dansangel: Now you're talking.
Sparkomatic: but no man is.
Dansangel: I can see where this is leading. OK, let's get it over with - you belong to that right-wing wasteland of conspiratorial loonies, don't you?
Sparkomatic: I began lurking the FreeRepublic around the time of the Monica Lewinsky business. I joined during the 2000 elections.
Dansangel: Anything else you liked to tell us about yourself?
Sparkomatic: I like to hunt. I like shooting. I like wood working. I'm basically a redneck with some polished edges.
That's all the news that fits, my dear readers. Hope this satisfies your nearly bottomless thirst for gossip -er, uh, *information.* Until the next Inquisition, please join me in welcoming another of FR's Finest... sparkomatic!