Biden: I’m going to re-elect myself
Press: Like you did the first time?
Biden: I have to wear Depends this time.
Press: A pant full will gain you the sympathy vote.
Biden: I have to growl when debating Trump. I’m a mean, cage fighter...
Press: Depends?
Biden: I fought Corn Pop in a cage fight. It was vicious. He came at me with a chain and a knife.
Press: Oh?
Biden: And I clocked him with my Billy Jack kick.
Press: Doing the same with Trump?
Biden: Depends...
At the debates Biden will look like a pear with his triple diaper precautions. All that growling is likely to blow the cork on his rotting bowels.