Posted on 08/09/2009 12:08:45 AM PDT by GLH3IL
I have been writing my elected officals at all levels of our benevolent government to demand solutions to the problem before us - breathing.
Breathing is one of the most dangerous and reckless things we can do for ourselves AND to our fellow man. Everytime we inhale we are bringing all kinds of debris and gases that smell bad and possibly are harmful. Inhaling can cause us to introduce particles to our nose lining that can induce the horrific phenomeon known as sneezing. Sneezing can cause car accidents, spilled coffee, and make us forcefully expel saliva and mucus from our bodies into contact with our loved ones, strangers and all the creatures that grace this holy planet.
Exhaling is even worse. When we exhale we emit greenhouse gasses which we have no way to obtain enough carbon credits to balance out. Exhaling can fog the glasses of eye glass wearers reducing visibility to incredibly dangerus levels in the wintertime and when exiting a cool air conditioned room or car into a hot muggy environment.
I propose the National Scuba Gear Act, that would require all humans within the United States to wear scuba breathing apparatus to contain our breathing to a controlled, safe environment. We will be able to breath clean, safe air and exhale into industrial scrubbers that clean out all of our carbon emissiona and bad breath before releasing the exhalation to the public air.
Please join us in suppoorting this important cause. This message brought you by Citizens Helping Our Krazy Environment or CHOKE.
Also, please join our sister orgnization fighting the other challege to our survival - bovine flatulence. Please join the People Fighting Fearsome Flatulence Today or PFFT to encourage our elected officals to find an effective and permanent solution to bovine flatulence (for those of you in Washington D.C. that is cow farts).
Meh. I use an e-cigarette. I’m good....
I’m fond of an e-Arturo Fuente Hemingway Series Classico cigar myself. Well, actually, I’m really smoking one right now.
Hey! Forget all that. Do you realize exhaling is a leading contributor to GLOBAL WARMING!!! Stop NOW!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.