I'm with Obama, you people don't get it (live from draft Olbermann 2012)

The house Democratic caucus just told the President to go (expletive deleted) himself, which is at least 10% more rude than calling him a liar. The revolution has begun and we here at Olbermann 2012 campaign headquarters couldn't be happier. Now, some of you have been skeptical about both our motives and our strategy with this draft Olbermann movement. I understand, let me try and take these on one by one.

One of you asked; "If we do support Olbermann in the Democratic primaries, what happens if he actually beats Obama rather than weakening him? How do we know Olbermann will lose in the general election in 2012? I mean, Stuart Smalley is now the Senator from Minnesota. How do we know that won't happen again and we'll actually be stuck with President Olbermann?"

Excellent question, first, have you actually watched Keith Olbermann's show? Because I think that will allay many of your concerns. Second, I'm the campaign manager, so his advance work is going to get a little sketchy in crunch time, his speeches will be off the cuff in October, the campaigns' debate prep is going to be wanting, and if need be the Palin campaign is going to get a little heads up on some things. Third, Minnesota only has like 10 electoral votes, intelligent people in Virginia, Florida, and Ohio are going to be deciding this election, so... yeah.

Thanks to Ann Coulter for these gems.

I wouldn't mention it, except that Olbermann savages anyone who didn't go to an impressive college. As it happens, he didn't go to an impressive college, either.

If you've ever watched any three nights of his show, you know that Olbermann went to Cornell. But he always forgets to mention that he went to the school that offers classes in milking and bovine management.

Indeed, Keith is constantly lying about his nonexistent "Ivy League" education, boasting to Playboy magazine, for example: "My Ivy League education taught me how to cut corners, skim books and take an idea and write 15 pages on it, and also how to work all day at the Cornell radio station and never actually go to class."

Except Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell.

The real Cornell, the School of Arts and Sciences (average SAT: 1,325; acceptance rate: 1 in 6 applicants), is the only Ivy League school at Cornell and the only one that grants a Bachelor of Arts degree.

Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1.01 applicants).

Olbermann's incessant lying about having an "Ivy League education" when he went to the non-Ivy League ag school at Cornell would be like a graduate of the Yale locksmithing school boasting about being a "Yale man."

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