Posted on 10/10/2013 3:31:19 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
It's a familiar strategy: Ultra-leftist candidate enters race, regardless of whether he or she has any chance of winning. Candidate's extreme left-wing posturing gets DUmmies all aroused. Candidate fleeces DUmmies for lots of money. Candidate loses, but has vastly increased his or her bank account. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Call it the Alan Grayson Method.
The DUmmies' Darling DU Jour is one Wendy Davis, a state senator in Texas who has just thrown her tennis shoes into the ring for governor. Ms. Davis catapulted to fame in June, when she filibustered a bill regulating abortions by standing for eleven hours in her pink tennis shoes, until the legislative session came to an end. The bill was delayed, but it eventually passed. Wendy's Fila-buster was full of bluster, but it accomplished nothing.
Except . . . to make Wendy a "star." She now is the new Elizabeth Warren. Fortunately, though, Texas is not Massachusetts. Wendy's chances of winning are Slim and None, and Slim just left town. Her likely opponent, Attorney General Greg Abbott, is likely to win, unless he displays Clayton Williams-grade stupidity.
BTW, Wendy's nickname down in Texas is "Abortion Barbie," "Abortion," due to her fervent devotion to the Sacrament of Abortion, and "Barbie," due to her glammed-up appearance, i.e., her bleached-blonde hair and her--well, let's just say that Wendy "has had some work done" over the years:
So last week Wendy announced for governor, and the DUmmies got all excited. We'll sample several threads, beginning with this THREAD, "Wendy Davis launches bid for Texas governor."
But before we get to the DUmmies, it's time to sing this salute to Abortion Barbie. Click the music link and sing along!
WENDY
Tune: "Windy"
Who's freaking out at the threat of a baby
Calling abortion a right to hold dear
Who's trying hard to give it a halo
Everyone knows it's Wendy
Who's looking like a bottle-blonde Barbie
Standing for hours in pink tennis shoes
Whose filibuster captured attention
Everyone knows it's Wendy
And Wendy's abortion lies
Brought cash and she found allies
Now Wendy has means to try
For governor
(For governor)
For governor
(For governor)
Flute interlude
And Wendy's abortion lies
Brought cash and she found allies
Now Wendy has means to try
For governor
(For governor)
For governor
(For governor)
Who's looking like a bottle-blonde Barbie
Standing for hours in pink tennis shoes
Whose filibuster captured attention
Everyone knows it's Wendy
Who's looking like a bottle-blonde Barbie
Standing for hours in pink tennis shoes
Whose filibuster captured attention
Everyone knows it's Wendy . . .
Now on to the DUmmies, as they declare Wendy Davis their Wendy Darling, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel, is in the [brackets]:
Wendy Davis launches bid for Texas governor
[I wonder what's on Wendy's launch menu . . .]
“We love Texas not only for how good it is, but for how great we know it can be,” Davis said in a news release. “With the right kind of leadership, the great state of Texas will keep its sacred promise that where you start has nothing to do with how far you can go.”
[Hmm, no mention of the "A" word. Of course, baby-killing does not go over too well with decent and civilized people. But to her far-left donors, I'm sure Wendy will trumpet her standing up for "women's reproductive rights" (sic).]
“. . . sacred promise that where you start has nothing to do with how far you can go.”
[Unless you happen to be a baby, in which case you may not go very far.]
[The DUmmies are aroused . . .]
I'm dreaming of a Blue Texas!!!!!!!!
[I BELIEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!]
Just made my first donation to the campaign. . . .
[The Fleecing of the DUmmies begins.]
It's not a pipe dream.
[It's a bong-pipe dream.]
Yay! Go Wendy!
[WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!]
Sorry, but I'm not optimistic. I'm not looking for someone who can make me feel good by saying things I want to hear; I'm looking for someone who can actually win and implement something.
[Well, you've come to the wrong place. This is DUmmieland.]
Texas produces some awesome women. Think Ann Richards and Molly Ivins.
[Do I have to? Ma Richards, Poison Ivins, and now Abortion Barbie. Yuk.]
Wendy Davis for Texas Governor!!! Okay DU it's your turn now.
[DU it for Wendy!!!]
That would be super awesome for Texas. She'd have my vote if I lived there.
[That doesn't matter. Just as long as you send her your money.]
If you want to feel good, go ahead. If you want to accomplish something, think hard about your contribution, and what it means about where you're NOT contributing. The sad reality is that the Texas Democratic Party is weak, and this race is rated as "SOLID REPUBLICAN".
[Oh, who cares? We just want to FEEL GOOD!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!]
wendy can win . . . wendy will win . . .
[I DO believe, I DO believe, I do I do I do!!!]
I'm glad she's running for governor.
[So are the Republicans!]
Vote for Wendy Davis based on .... what? Based on her filibuster? Or just that she's a Democrat? What are her accomplishments and/or qualifications to run a state as large as my Texas? Did anyone even know who Wendy Davis was before her famous filibuster?
[HERETIC!!! Since when do "qualifications" matter?? She's a WOMAN, isn't that enough? She CARES about reproductive rights and women's health issues! I stand with Wendy!!!]
Wendy Davis shook my hand last year. . . .
[THERE! There's a qualification for you!]
Donated just a few minutes ago. SSDI came in and after making out this month's budget, figured I had $10 to donate.
[Now Wendy is just $10 away from becoming governor! C'mon, comrades, let's DU it!!!]
Wendy Davis has the right-wing scared sh*tless!
[While YOU are FULL of sh*t!]
Just look at how scummy they're getting already. "Ghoulish," "Sick," "Aspiring Baby Killer". . . .
[Not scummy: Condoning the killing of babies. Scummy: Condemning those who do.]
nothing on her about any policies or ideology just name-calling . . .
some nasty names including . . . "abortion barbie"
[We call her "Abortion Barbie" because "Klaus Barbie" was already taken.]
I've seen the "abortion barbie" comment. . . . That's so indicative of how they think. Always sexist.
[Calling Wendy Davis "Abortion Barbie" = Sexist. Calling Sarah Palin "Caribou Barbie" = Not Sexist.]
I just can't see a Democrat winning in Texas. But good luck to her.
[Bless her heart.]
We need to give money to her and Franken.
[Franken & Davis. Say, if they both lose, they could start a comedy team!]
Nate Cohn: "Wendy Davis Doesn't Stand a Chance of Becoming Texas Governor." "A Davis candidacy will surely thrill Democrats and reignite dreams of turning the Lone Star state “blue,” but don’t kid yourself: Davis is doomed. . . . there isn’t a pathway to victory for progressive Texas Democrats. Obama lost by 16 points last November, despite favorable turnout and demographic trends. It’s even tougher for Democrats in an off-year, when non-white and young voters are unusually likely to stay home."
[DUmmie trumpetero (15 posts), for posting this note of pessimistic reality, I hereby declare you a . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Your time was brief, but it was well played.]
The Rude Pundit: Help Wendy Davis F*** Up the Texas GOP's Sh*t
[The Crude Pundit checks in.]
State Senator Wendy Davis kicks so much ass that actual asses pucker in fear when she's around.
[Chuck Norris turned in his Texas Ranger badge when he heard Wendy Davis was coming.]
Davis just announced that she is running for governor of the Lone Star State. . . .
[Now she's a Loon Star.]
Let's help her f*** some sh*t up.
[DUmmie discourse at its finest.]
I will take this out of my entertainment budget to support two incredible people -- Elizabeth Warren and Wendy Davis!
I gave to Al Grayson before his last run and I will do the same for Wendy Davis.
[Let the fleecing begin!]
PING!
AAC, your request for a Wendy parody has been answered. I endeavor to give satisfaction.
There HAS to ba a Ben Burch reference in there somewhere!
I can completely see Weird Al singing this.
If so, only because everyone else thinks this is some kind of spoof.
lol
She will probably be trounced but she knows the media is on her side 200%
There are no conservative Democrats
Particularly anyone who won't adore abortion Barbie........
I’m thinking the guy is fairly conservative for Palin and Levin to stump for him, he’s no Scott Brown, that’s for sure.
Good god, I hope Clayton Williams is not the Republican candidate.
You know the RNC, he just might be.
Is he still alive?
The more DNC money that goes to Wendy, the better.
Hey! Wend y has a proud record of achievement.
Wendy got a Radio Shack put in when she was a Counsel Woman in Ft Worth.
I’m serious! This is here legacy besides the filibuster.
Hey Wendy! For that thing on your face...here’s a quarter. Go downtown and hire a rat to chew it off.
I was thinking of a different 2nd syllable there ....
As campaign giveaways they are going to have little bronze aborted baby keychains with the inscription “Death to unborns, vote for Wendy “Gosnell” Davis.
Is anybody running against her? I’d hate to see her cruise to November without getting roughed up (and spending a bunch of money) in the primary?
You are d’ man! Thanks!
At this point she remains unchallenged by Dems.
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