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Franken Persecuted by Democrats semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 Dec 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/11/2017 9:40:06 AM PST by John Semmens

Despite asserting “I’ve done nothing wrong” and expressing confidence that he would have been cleared of wrongdoing by a Senate Ethics Committee investigation, Sen Al Franken (D-Minn) announced that he would be resigning his seat “in the next few weeks.”

Franken, pressured by dozens of his fellow Democrats to “resign for the good of the Party,” complained about “the double standard in our society that lets Donald Trump get away with boasting about groping women, but hangs me because I actually took the initiative to interact with these women. As Trump said on the Access Hollywood tape ‘women let you get away with anything when you’re a celebrity.’ Well, I am a celebrity as a senator and was a celebrity as a TV star and comedian. Why can’t I get away with it?”

The Senator pointed out that “my interactions were inspired by my respect for women and their delectable bosoms and buttocks. What my accusers are claiming was unwanted touching were merely my expression of affection for their being willing to be in the same room with me. That some of the women I have touched would turn against me after all I’ve done to uphold their right to have abortions seems cold and ungrateful. But I will do my best to try to understand and adapt to the new social norms that are being forced on me.”

While contending that “Franken was railroaded for behavior that has traditionally been tolerated as a ‘perk’ of powerful men,” MSNBC’s Chris Matthews argued that “the sacrifice of a rising star in the Democratic Party on the basis of what were either unproven allegations or minor infractions shows that the worst anyone can say about Democrats is that they are too pure. Franken had a choice between resigning or switching to the GOP where molesting women is an accepted standard. That he chose the nobler option while Trump and Moore cling to their political aspirations is a clear distinction of which Party has the moral high ground.”

Matthews dismissed the more spectacular allegations against former President Clinton and Senator Kennedy as “moot points since neither currently holds public office. Besides, no woman ever demanded that they resign. At the very least, that is prima facie evidence that their interactions were all consensual.”

In related news, Rep. Ruben Kihuen (D-Nev) refuses to resign over sexual harassment accusations. He says he had House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s permission: “She knew all about this before I was elected in 2016. She even donated to my campaign. I’m not going to let her add my scalp to her trophy case.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2017/12/09/house-hearing-reveals-pattern-of-bias-in-fbi/


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: allegations; democrats; fakenews; franken; moore; republicans; satire; sex; trump

1 posted on 12/11/2017 9:40:06 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Al must have been thinking to himself why him? He never let any woman drown in his car, but was afraid to say it.


2 posted on 12/11/2017 10:10:32 AM PST by Hotlanta Mike ("You can avoid reality, but you can't avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.")
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To: Hotlanta Mike

It’s all fake news. Nothing in the above article should be believed. The author gets off on falsely attributing his words to other people.


3 posted on 12/11/2017 10:13:44 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: John Semmens

Franken has a major problem if Moore loses tomorrow.

He loses his excuse to not resign.


4 posted on 12/11/2017 10:38:15 AM PST by SaxxonWoods (CNN IS ISIS.)
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