Skip to comments.Dems Sue Trump for "Wrongful Election Victory" [semi-satire]
Posted on 04/20/2018 5:54:26 PM PDT by John Semmens
Unsatisfied with the lack of results from Special Counsel Robert Mueller's year-long investigation of Trump-Russia collusion to steal the 2016 presidential election from Hillary Clinton, the Democratic National Committee filed a lawsuit demanding billions of dollars in damages and a "rectification" of the election results. In addition to Trump, the suit also named Russia and Wikileaks as co-conspirators in what DNC Chairman Tom Perez called "an act of unimaginable treachery."
While not part of the suit, per se, Perez expressed "our profound disappointment with the actions of our government. We counted on them to prevent the election of Trump as president. Yes, the FBI stifled any criminal inquiry into Secretary Clinton's mishandling of her email system. Yet, they didn't stifle news of her aides erasing files and smashing cell phones. FBI Director Comey's attempt to sell this behavior as merely careless lacked credibility and served to critically damage her campaign."
"The Wikileaks publication of confidential correspondence disclosing how the DNC rigged the primary against Sen. Sanders was a vital cog in the machinery working to deny the election of the most qualified person to ever seek the presidency," Perez contended. "Given the vast resources and opportunity to neutralize the evil genius hiding in the Ecuadorean Embassy in London, we are mystified that this one man wasn't eliminated either before he could do his dirty work, or afterward as an example to others. Now, we are hoping our suit will bankrupt this disruptive entity."
"The key remedy we are seeking is for the court to reverse the outcome of the 2016 election and invalidate all of the legislation and executive actions taken by the wrongfully seated Trump." Perez said. "Skeptics say this remedy is unprecedented. Even if that were true, justice would still demand it. But there is precedent for vacating a victory and awarding it to the second-place finisher in collegiate athletics when it is shown that the on-the-field winner cheated. So, it shouldn't be viewed as such a stretch to apply that remedy in our case."
As for co-conspirator Russia, Perez predicted "that will take care of itself once a President Clinton replaces Trump in the Oval Office. She has had a lot of experience punishing those who have done her wrong. If the full powers of the presidency are put at her disposal I wouldn't want to be in Putin's shoes. We're confident she'll get more than the customary 'pound of flesh' out of him and the country he rules."
In related news, Comey said if he could go back in time and change anything he would have "prevented Anthony Weiner from being born. Despite my best efforts, this sex pervert undermined my extraordinary actions aimed at smoothing the transition from the Obama Presidency to the Clinton Presidency. His very existence changed history in a very negative way."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
"Clearly, since Hillary! was the most qualified candidate in the history of the United States, anyone who did not vote for her must have been bribed", the press release went on to state.
Also, that pond out front? Shouldn't you be stocking koi in there? Or are you just assuming that frogs will take over?
Is it really a good idea to sue Wikileaks that has all the DNC secrets?
I sure hope the this is a suicide act by the DNC.
These people really are stupid.
The problem here is that the whole episode labels the Democratic Party as a ‘victim’. Maybe in urbanized areas or around journalists....this works. But out in the rural regions of the US...people don’t accept the victim mentality or brand.
The DNC needs to fire the top level and just start over.
I would send this to my liberal/lawyer (redundant) brother, but my wife thinks I am cruel to do that that sort of thing.
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