Skip to comments.FBI Claims Powers to Conduct Secret Investigations, Lie & Intimidate [semi-satire]
Posted on 05/05/2018 12:04:51 AM PDT by John Semmens
This week in the case against former Trump associate Paul Manafort, Special Counsel Robert Mueller argued that U.S. District Judge T.S. Ellis's complaint that he was lied to "evinces a stunning ignorance of FBI procedures. Previous court decisions have clearly established that we have the right to lie if that is what's necessary to trap a guilty party."
Mueller also defended pressuring witnesses and suspects. "We have immense resources at our disposal compared to the more limited means of those we are targeting," Mueller pointed out. "Even if we have no evidence or any chance of convicting someone of any crime, the Agency has often found that persistent and seemingly endless harassment can yield compliance with our wishes. We want Manafort to testify against Trump. Threatening him with secret evidence and expensive legal procedures is an invaluable weapon in our crusade against the most unfit person to ever hold the presidency."
Judge Ellis, though, wasn't buying Mueller's argument and demanded to "see the document authorizing your investigation. The charges alleged against Manafort predate his role in Trump's campaign by a decade. It strikes me as improbable that his prosecution fits within the scope of your mandate. Neither the American people nor the US Constitution abides the kind of unfettered power the Special Counsel seems to be claiming for himself." Ellis gave Mueller two weeks to produce an unredacted copy of the letter from DOJ Deputy Director Rod Rosenstein that authorized Mueller's investigation.
Meanwhile, Rosenstein is having his own confrontation with the House Intelligence Committee's demands to see unredacted copies of his instructions to Mueller, which he labeled "attempted obstruction of our investigation. Special Counsel Mueller must remain unfettered by any outside interference with his probe into the sketchy behaviors of Trump and his henchmen."
Rep. Mark Meadows (R-NC) labeled Rosenstein's defiance "an impeachable offense. Congress is held responsible for oversight of government operations and activities. To exercise this oversight we must have information. The desire of Mr. Rosenstein to keep certain matters secret doesn't override the congressional obligation to oversee the FBI's actions. His insistence that he is entitled to 'unfettered powers' is a gross overreach of his authority. In his mind he may think that the ends he seeks justify whatever means he deems are necessary, but that is not what our form of government authorizes."
In related news, former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe's allegation that "higher ups" pressured him to drop the FBI's investigation of the Clinton Foundation during the 2016 election campaign spurred House Judiciary Committee Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Va) to write a letter to Attorney General Jeff Sessions requesting that the DOJ open an investigation into this allegation. "The findings of the Inspector General's report, then-FBI Director James Comey's premature exoneration of Secretary Clinton for her illegal abuse of the email system, and the FBI's use of a Democrat-funded opposition-research 'dossier' to dupe the FISA Court into allowing it to spy on the Republican campaignestablish a pattern of illegal interference in the 2016 presidential election," Goodlatte wrote. "We cannot ignore these crimes if we want to preserve a system of government where the people freely choose who will govern on their behalf."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
The new MOB ...
Many a true word spoken in jest
The MOB needs to be hit with a MOAB.
Mueller what an unethical S.O.B.
Just ask American Hero Richard Jewell how honorable is the FBI. Nice suits. Mostly they have a clean shave and well shined shoes. Other than that? Pimps.
This one has more straight news in it than your usual ones.
Shows how surreal the news is getting on its own.
My congratulations, John. It must be getting harder by the day to write satire, considering the nature of what is actually going on.
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