Posted on 05/06/2018 11:36:42 AM PDT by John Semmens
While Sen. Bernie Sanders (S-Vt) was first out of the gate for the 2020 presidential election with a proposal to give everyone who wants or needs a job a $15 per hour spot on a federal government payroll, other hopefuls are signing on to the idea. A poll indicating that 46% of potential voters like the idea has inspired imitators.
Sens. Corey Booker (D-NJ) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) eagerly endorsed the idea. “I think it’s a good start on the road to an economy where everyone basically works for the government,” Booker said. “Then we could ensure that everyone gets what they deserve and resources are allocated by collective decision making.” “It would be a refreshing change from the materialistic greed fostered by private enterprise,” Gillibrand predicted. “Count me in.”
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, citing the Democrats’ enthusiasm for socialism as yet another reason why she lost to Trump, made plans to get to the left of her rivals on this issue. “It’s all very well to promise that people will get jobs if they want them, but what about those who need, but don’t want jobs?” she wondered. “The collective well being of society mandates that every person assume a role that best assists the welfare of the whole. I think we should consider work gangs for critical infrastructure projects, collective farms for our Latino immigrants, and labor camps for those who require ideological reeducation. Let’s not forget that an industrially backward Russia was built into a superpower using these types of aggressive motivational tools.”
Sanders countered critics’ estimates that his plan would cost at least $500 billion per year assuming that only those currently without jobs signed up for his program. “The $15 per hour plus health benefits is just a ballpark figure,” he insisted. “Payments could also be made in-kind. We could provide dormitories as housing. Meals could be served in cafeterias. All medical care could be provided by government doctors. I saw such things work on my many vacations to the Soviet Union before counterrevolutionaries tore down that great human experiment.”
In related news, the great human experiment of public education in the United States hasn’t been faring well of late. According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress test results released by the U.S. Department of Education, 65% of eighth graders are not proficient in reading and 67% are not proficient in math. Lily Eskelsen García, president of the National Education Association, rejected the findings, calling them “irrelevant for the world in which our students will grow up to live in. All the information people need can be provided to them via TV, videos, and cell phones. The arcane skills of reading and calculating are no longer needed to live a full life. To continue to expect children to master them is just as senseless as expecting them to know how to ride horses or harvest crops. The important thing is to ensure that public school budgets are robust and that teachers get regular raises.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/05/05/fbi-claims-powers-to-conduct-secret-investigations-lie-intimidate/
Everywhere is freaks and hairies
Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity
Tax the rich, feed the poor
‘Til there are no rich no more?
I’d love to change the world
But I don’t know what to do
So I’ll leave it up to you
Population keeps on breeding
Nation bleeding, still more feeding economy
Life is funny, skies are sunny
Bees make honey, who needs money, Monopoly
I’d love to change the world
But I don’t know what to do
So I’ll leave it up to you
Ten Years After - I’ d Love To Change The World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7-8sCLWwLk
The reality of the left doesn't need to be parodied.
Getting harder to satirize the dem-o-rats. They are socialists/marxists.
The next election will see the democRATs all trying to out Bernie each other.
Another good job John.
It was tried in the former East Germany. Everyone just sat on their asses, played cards and anything else that would keep them occupied. they claimed “full employment”.
Exactly, the U.S. dollar is backed by nothing, at one time $20 bought you 1 ounce of gold, now $20 will buy you an amazing 0.015 ounces of gold. This trend will continue until the dollar is worthless.
Burnbaggie sanders wants to guarantee a job for everyone that wants one. That’ll work!/s
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