Posted on 05/09/2018 8:19:31 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent…
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
A guy walks into a Bar...
In Soviet Russia, bar walks into YOU!
So this baby seal walks into a club...
Lol!
Hahahahaha!
An Aggie walks into a bar with a bullfrog on his head.
The bartender says, “What in the world is that?”
The frog replies, “I don’t know. It started out as a wart on my butt.”
I am joining you in PC Hell, because PC Heaven sucks...
***********************************************************************
A blonde woman driving over the speed limit gets stopped by a blonde policewoman.
BLONDE POLICEWOMAN: May I see your license and registration please.
BLONDE DRIVER: Uh...okay. (hands registration to blonde policewoman and begins rummaging through her purse. This goes on for several minutes, as the blonde policewoman becomes more irritated by the second)
BLONDE POLICEWOMAN: Ma'am...is there a problem?
BLONDE DRIVER: (looks up helplessly) I...er...can't find it. What does it look like?
BLONDE POLICEWOMAN: (rolls her eyes in irritation, answers in exasperated tone) I can't believe this. It is small, rectangular, and has your face on it.
< BLONDE DRIVER: (rummages some more) I found it! (smiling brightly, removes a small compact mirror and hands it to the officer)
BLONDE POLICEWOMAN: (looking disbelievingly at the mirror) Good God. What a waste of time. You could have just told me you were a policewoman, and I would have let you go on your way!
A rabbi, priest and imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “what is this a joke”?
A traitor, a communist, and a muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says “Good Evening Mr. Brennan.”
Two peanuts walk in to a bar ...
One was a salted
A rebel without a clue.
"Ceterum censeo Islam esse delendam."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, ‘When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.’
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, ‘I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.’
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, ‘It’s just 99 cents a word.’ Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, ‘I want you to send her the word ‘comfortable.’
The operator shakes his head. ‘How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word ‘comfortable?’
The brunette explains, ‘My sister’s blonde. The word’s big. She’ll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.’
Hehe, the blondes are taking it on the chin today!
Next up: Old white guys!
That’s pretty good.
very good
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn’t! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”
Thanks
Ok, you’re triggering me. JUST KIDDING! I’m a blonde and I love blonde jokes.
(Especially after someone explains them to me…LOL)
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