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ACLU Position on Free Speech "Evolving" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 June 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/23/2018 6:28:30 AM PDT by John Semmens

The American Civil Liberties Union is reexamining its long-standing position in favor of freedom of speech. Spokesman Bertram Petty explained that "in the past the biggest threat to freedom of speech came from the government trying to silence advocates of socialist and communist solutions to public problems. Now that socialist and communist principles form an important part of the guidance for government activities in the United States it is no longer clear that freedom of speech to attack policies based on these ideas is worthy of our support."

"For example, a knee-jerk defense of freedom of speech would compel the ACLU to defend the enemies of progressive values from being shouted down by college students defending their right to not have to tolerate attacks on these values," Petty said. "Thankfully, most universities are run by enlightened progressives who have cleansed their institutions of incorrect thinking. The ACLU should not be thwarting that progress by insisting on the perpetuation of archaic notions more suited to a bygone era when reactionary views ruled the world."

"The very idea that everyone's words are entitled to an airing overlooks the danger that an unbending allegiance to freedom poses to the social advancement prophesied by Karl Marx," Petty continued. "The emergence of revolutionary expressions of political ideas that lead to the kinds of direct action that unleash the destruction of the property and persons who oppress the masses is the new freedom of expression that our organization should be championing as we enter the end stage of a civilization transitioning to full communism."

In related news, University of Pennsylvania law professor Amy Wax was ousted from her teaching position for espousing "bourgeois values." These values included a belief in grading students based on performance without regard to their race. She had previously won an award for teaching excellence, for which Dean Theodore Ruger apologized, saying "that was before we were aware of her nonconforming political opinions."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: communism; freedom; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 06/23/2018 6:28:31 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Real satire for the ACLU:

ACLU discovers the 2nd Amendment. Will now defend the right to keep and bear arms.

ACLU discovers that affirmative action/diversity is really government sanctioned racism and against the 14th Amendment.

2 posted on 06/23/2018 6:33:58 AM PDT by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
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