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Israel Accused of Causing Iran's Drought [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 July 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/09/2018 11:33:01 AM PDT by John Semmens

Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of Iran's Civil Defense Organization, blamed Israel for his country's drought. "If you look at satellite photos you can see that all mountainous areas between Afghanistan and the Mediterranean are covered in snow, except for Iran," he said. "The only logical explanation for such an anomaly is a Zionist conspiracy to attack my country."

The General speculated that "it could be some sort of giant fan that is blowing precipitation-bearing clouds away from Iran or an infrared ray that evaporates the snow that should be there. Either way, it's an act of aggression that we can't ignore."

Jalali cited reports of Israel's water surplus as evidence for his claims. "Why is it that Jews are the only ones in the region with a surplus of water?" he wanted to know. "I mean, it's not as if Allah would mistakenly rain upon the country of the unbelievers and leave the faithful high and dry. That's totally nonsensical."

An alternate explanation for Israel's water surplus may be its investment in desalinization. The country has the world's largest desalinization plant and produces 3 million cubic meters of potable water per day. However, Jalali remained adamant, saying "these Jews are very clever, but I'd call desalting the rain from the evaporated snow clouds blown over the Mediterranean proof of their theft."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,323489.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Weather
KEYWORDS: iran; israel; rain; satire

1 posted on 07/09/2018 11:33:01 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

When is Iran going to give up on all of this anti-Semitic madness and realize their TRUE enemy: The Yeti!!!


2 posted on 07/09/2018 11:38:23 AM PDT by rjsimmon (The Tree of Liberty Thirsts)
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To: rjsimmon

“...it’s not as if Allah would mistakenly rain upon the country of the unbelievers...”

Better check your beliefs, Punky!


3 posted on 07/09/2018 11:44:15 AM PDT by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
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To: John Semmens

Idiots. Any earth science teacher could tell them about the rain shadow effect, where high mountains keep rain-bearing clouds from crossing to the other side, cutting off rain for that side.


4 posted on 07/09/2018 11:46:34 AM PDT by EinNYC
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To: John Semmens

Iran just needs to move their country. OR... they could knock down the mountains. Both would solve their problems.


5 posted on 07/09/2018 11:58:45 AM PDT by Tenacious 1
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To: John Semmens

Israel is using the Powers of the Ark of The Covenant !!!!

Uh oh !!! Iranian General better start building his spider hole to try to hide from the skyfire which will be next.


6 posted on 07/09/2018 12:43:31 PM PDT by elbook
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To: elbook

They must have stolen our rain here in Missouri too!

I even put an inch of water in the rain gauge to prime to pump and to no avail.


7 posted on 07/09/2018 1:30:35 PM PDT by oldasrocks (rump)
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