Obama arrived in Hell. Satan asked him “What’s your heart’s desire? I’ll let you spend eternity doing it!”
“Uh, I like to play golf! Yeah - gimme that!”
“Very well,” and with a snap of his fingers, Satan showed him a 36-hole course with a beautiful clubhouse, long fairways, perfectly placed hazards, rolling hills, and velvety greens.
“Wow!” exclaimed Obama. “This is great!”
Next the Devil gave him a set of clubs so well balanced that Barry felt he had been swinging them all his life. “Perfect - just perfect!” he said to the Prince of Darkness. “I’m glad you approve,” he smiled.
Out to the first tee they stepped, ready for a game. Obama said: “What a course! Give me the ball.” The Devil answered: “Sorry….we have no golf balls here. Enjoy your eternity!”
Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing golf.
On the final hole, there’s a water hazard between all 3 balls and the hole.
Moses putts directly at the water hazard, which promptly divides, allowing is ball to roll through and come to rest a couple of inches from the hole.
Jesus also putts directly at the water hazard, and his ball rolls across the surface of the water, coming to rest mere millimeters from the hole.
The old man takes out his driver. He wails on the ball which nearly disappears from sight before being intercepted by an eagle. The eagle is then struck by lightning, and the ball drops from its talons. Before it can touch the ground, a gopher catches the ball in its mouth, sprints across the green, and drops the ball into the hole.
Jesus says: “Nice shot, dad.”