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Dems Propose “Catch-and-Release” Law [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 July 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/25/2018 7:28:15 AM PDT by John Semmens

Senate Democrats Kamala Harris (Calif), Jeff Merkley (Oregon), and Catherine Cortez Mastohave (Nevada) have introduced a bill that would mandate a nation-wide “catch-and-release” policy for illegal immigrants. Under the bill’s provisions ICE would be required to release all members of families who enter the country illegally on their “own recognizance.” That is, they would be allowed to go free and asked to return for their later court hearing on whether they would be permitted to stay. This policy was the core approach used by the Obama Administration. However, only a tiny percentage of the “catch-and-release” immigrants have ever appeared for their court dates.

“The artificial demarcation known as international borders is a crime against humanity,” Harris contended. “Since the very beginnings of the human race people have been free to migrate in search of a better life. Attempts to impede this right for humans puts them below the status of birds, butterflies, and herds of ungulates who are allowed to cross borders without interference. Our bill merely gives people the same rights that these animals possess.”

Harris brushed aside the observation that none of the Earth’s migrating animals become welfare clients at either end of their travels, calling it “absurd. Wild animals can live off the land. But humans aren’t wild animals. They are social creatures who quite naturally seek social welfare among their own kind. Immigration restrictions that interfere with human migration fail to accommodate human nature. The complaint from those who say they don’t want to take up the burden of supporting those who need support is anti-social. It is their obligation to the collective. The Democratic Party is determined to see that everyone fulfills this obligation.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2018/07/21/masked-fascists-attack-jewish-coffee-shop/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: borders; democrats; illegals; satire

1 posted on 07/25/2018 7:28:15 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

And of course, if told not to stay, they won’t be obligated to leave.


2 posted on 07/25/2018 7:30:02 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: John Semmens

Of course Komodo, Murky and Musthave would draw the line having any on those illegals living close to them.


3 posted on 07/25/2018 8:45:18 AM PDT by antidemoncrat
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