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Understanding Florida (vanity)
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Posted on 09/11/2018 8:30:22 PM PDT by ameribbean expat



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
Not exactly Maimonides' Guide For The Perplexed, but does pretty much sum it up.
1 posted on 09/11/2018 8:30:22 PM PDT by ameribbean expat
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To: ameribbean expat

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/state/weirdest-and-craziest-florida-news-stories-in-2017

The strange, but true stories that happened in Florida in 2017
(Yes, all of the following headlines are real, actual headlines.)

1. Florida man tries to break into car, arrested by deputies waiting inside

If you’re going to break into a vehicle, you typically want to make sure it isn’t an unmarked Sheriff’s Office vehicle and that there aren’t deputies inside that vehicle.

2. Florida man wrecks liquor shop, blames ‘caterpillar’ from Alice in Wonderland

You seriously can’t make this stuff up! When this Florida man was arrested for destroying a liquor store under construction, he told police he was Alice in Wonderland and that a “hookah-smoking caterpillar” ordered him to attack the site.

3. Florida man stuffs $1K in rectum to hide it from deputies

Deputies in Marion County say that a Florida man stuffed over $1,000 up his buttocks into his rectum in an attempt to hide it from deputies after he was arrested.

4. Florida man calls 911 during police chase, asks for Donald Trump

A man in Florida called police while Collier County Sheriff’s deputies were chasing him. “I need help, please,” said Aric Frydberg, the man who was arrested after the 7-mile pursuit on U.S. 41. “There’s a police officer chasing me,” he added.

5. Florida students find dead alligator, bring it to dorm room

When a group of FGCU students found a dead alligator, they thought the only logical thing to do was to bring it to their dorm room for a photo shoot.


2 posted on 09/11/2018 9:04:34 PM PDT by GOPJ (Deep State power peaked during the McCain funeral - it's down from here on out.)
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To: ameribbean expat

I lived there for 25+ years. It’s a melting pot within the melting pot that is the USA.

The natives are just rednecks but the climate makes them different in their lifestyle.

Everyone else is from somewhere else.

I came up with a saying regarding the incoming people.

People move to Florida for one of three reasons.

To Party
To make it big financially
To die (mostly talking about retirees)

Some manage to do all three (retired or young)


3 posted on 09/11/2018 9:11:15 PM PDT by Pollard (If you don't understand what I typed, you haven't read the classics.)
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To: GOPJ

I need help, please...There’s a police officer chasing me”

ROFLMAO!!!! My only question, did PDT tweet at him later?


4 posted on 09/11/2018 9:12:41 PM PDT by jocon307
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To: ameribbean expat

Are these fearless wonders escapees?


5 posted on 09/11/2018 9:26:23 PM PDT by tallyhoe
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To: Pollard

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/audience/david-whitley/os-ae-florida-man-alligator-in-convenience-store-david-whitley-0730-story.html


6 posted on 09/11/2018 11:36:50 PM PDT by Defiant (I may be deplorable, but I'm not getting in that basket.)
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To: Pollard

As a native born Floridian, I will tell you when graduating in the 50’s, a bus ticket out of state was an ideal gift because all the damn yankees retired here bringing their great ideas from which they were fleeing and they received a pension from unions or tax payers were willing to work for Jack/Zit just get to Hell away from a blue haired hellion called, “yes dear”.


7 posted on 09/12/2018 4:05:25 AM PDT by BTCM (Death and destruction is the only treaty Muslims comprehend.)
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To: ameribbean expat

Have lived in FL for 6 years and this state is full of crazy. As we like to say: WTF stands for Welcome To Florida!


8 posted on 09/12/2018 4:07:57 AM PDT by pinkandgreenmom
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To: Pollard

I came to FL for 3 reasons.

1. To fish
2. To drink beer
3. To get the hell out of MD.

Love it here.


9 posted on 09/12/2018 4:17:48 AM PDT by VastRWCon (LARGE PRINT GIVE IT, small print take it away.)
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To: ameribbean expat

The best way to explain Florida, is from another state.


10 posted on 09/12/2018 4:49:27 AM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: ameribbean expat

The urban myth, i.e. that there is a sign at the Florida/Georgia State Line that says: “It won’t be any better for you here,” sums it up for me.

Florida is filled with people who left somewhere else as a “geographic cure.”


11 posted on 09/12/2018 4:52:37 AM PDT by anton
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To: ameribbean expat

Great pic! I like the alignment touch. Politicians could probably be better characterized by alignment.


12 posted on 09/12/2018 5:13:55 AM PDT by fruser1
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To: Pollard
I've lived in Florida for 10 years now. In a rural area, not in a big city.

I would like to add to your list of why people move to Florida.

To run away from the law or trouble of some other kind in their lives.

Seems like every headline you read in the press about somebody doing something crazy, chances are it is about someone in Florida.

13 posted on 09/12/2018 6:17:33 AM PDT by HotHunt
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To: HotHunt
Seems like every headline you read in the press about somebody doing something crazy, chances are it is about someone in Florida.

Whenever I see a headline about something totally insane I assume it's going to be a 'Florida' story. And I live here...

14 posted on 09/12/2018 7:35:19 AM PDT by GOPJ (Deep State power peaked during the McCain funeral - it's down from here on out.)
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To: Pollard

I used to call Florida the deadbeat dad capitol of America.
Seems they all escape to there....


15 posted on 09/12/2018 7:44:26 AM PDT by mowowie
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