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Senator Touts DNA Proof of Cherokee Heritage [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 Oct 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/19/2018 9:37:10 PM PDT by John Semmens

This week, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) made a big show of unveiling results of a DNA test she asserted "proves my Cherokee heritage" and demanded "an apology and a million dollars" from President Trump, who had previously offered the sum for proof of the Senator's Indian heritage.

Observers from various segments of the political spectrum were not as impressed as Warren had anticipated. The test was conducted by a personal friend, not an independent lab. No Cherokee DNA was involved in the test, samples from Mexico and Peru were used instead. The results indicated that the range of possible relationship between Warren and Mexicans and/or Peruvians was between 1.5% on the high side to 0.1% (one-tenth of a percent) on the low side. Inasmuch as the average American of European descent has about 0.2% DNA traced to pre-Columbus inhabitants of the Americas, Warren's claim to be a Cherokee is not well-supported by the evidence.

Cherokee Nation Secretary of State Chuck Hoskin Jr. called Warren's test "useless as a method of proving cultural affiliation with the Cherokees or any other tribe in North or South America. Senator Warren has not lived as a Cherokee for any part of her life. Instead, she has used a bogus claim of affinity to dishonestly advance her academic and political careers. This disrespects genuine members of our tribe."

MSNBC Political Analyst Zerlina Maxwell characterized the Cherokee response as "racist. The idea that you have to be a Cherokee in order to claim to be a Cherokee is closed-minded. It's the same kind of thinking that says if you're born male you can't legitimately claim to be female or vice versa. That's just wrong. Every person must be free to declare themselves to be whoever they want to be. Everyone else should be required to take that person's word for it. That Sen. Warren was hounded into a desperate attempt to corroborate her claim is a massive step backward from the new way of thinking that President Obama tried to impose on the country."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/249645-2018-10-19-semi-news-semi-satire-october-21-2018-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: racism; satire; trump; warren

1 posted on 10/19/2018 9:37:10 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 10/19/2018 9:37:57 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

You know, I spent four hours in Maine waiting for a flight hop....does that grant me Mainer status?


3 posted on 10/19/2018 10:11:59 PM PDT by pepsionice
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To: John Semmens

Fauxcahontas’s whole life is a running satire to those of us who accept reality. Thanks for the ping.


4 posted on 10/19/2018 10:19:34 PM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
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To: pepsionice

Only if you have a moose bite.


5 posted on 10/19/2018 10:33:33 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: John Semmens

Nice! Bingo! Why can’t she just “identify” as a Cherokee and everybody is happy with that. Good dig on Obama at the end there, John. Well played.


6 posted on 10/19/2018 11:04:48 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: pepsionice

I remember visiting Maine decades ago. There was a story told about a wee baby whose parents and family moved to an offshore island when the babe was just six months old. He lived to be 99. At his eulogy, one of his neighbors said “He was a good chap — for an outsider.”

I don’t think your claim to be a Mainer will hold much water with them.


7 posted on 10/19/2018 11:07:24 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: pepsionice

Eggsactly.

At this point with the Meuller investigation, Trump should be able to claim Russian Heritage.


8 posted on 10/20/2018 12:00:09 AM PDT by C210N (Republicans sign check fronts; 'Rats sign check backs.)
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To: John Semmens
On St. Paddy's Day I admit to falsely claiming an Irish background by wearing green. Sorry for my culture misappropriation. ☺
9 posted on 10/20/2018 3:44:31 AM PDT by Ciexyz (I have one issue and it's my economic well-being.)
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To: pepsionice
You know, I spent four hours in Maine waiting for a flight hop....does that grant me Mainer status?

Well, considering there are 24 hours in a day, that would only make you 1/6 Mainer for a day......

10 posted on 10/20/2018 3:52:02 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (The art of lock picking began during the era of chastity belts.......)
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To: John Semmens

Warren is a liar, a phoney, and even worse...a Democrat.


11 posted on 10/20/2018 5:04:22 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: John Semmens

As a black, dwarf, differently-abled, lesbian womyn, I stand with the 1/1024 Cherokee!


12 posted on 10/20/2018 6:09:53 AM PDT by dynachrome (When an empire dies, you are left with vast monuments in front of which peasants squat to defecate)
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To: John Semmens

A million dollars??? Wow. Heap big wampum. Sure you won’t take some glassy beads and seashells, Liz?


13 posted on 10/20/2018 6:51:37 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: John Semmens

14 posted on 10/20/2018 10:14:51 AM PDT by Oatka
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To: John Semmens

MSNBC Political Analyst Zerlina Maxwell has a point. LOL. I want my casino too!


15 posted on 10/20/2018 2:21:59 PM PDT by monkeyshine
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To: Ciexyz

Just don’t call me FauxMalley. Or FaukRourke.


16 posted on 10/20/2018 2:24:13 PM PDT by monkeyshine
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