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Trump Orders Catapults Be Placed Along Border To Expedite Deportations (SATIRE)
Breaking Burgh ^
| November 9, 2018
| staff
Posted on 11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST by Morgana
President Trump said today he is determined that deportations of those who enter the United States illegally proceed quickly, without waiting for court proceedings motorized transportation.
“We’re going to use catapults because that’s the fastest way. It’s going to be so fast. Very very fast.”
Trump insisted that he would not repeat the mistakes of the past that caused a huge backlash, even from the occasional Republican.
“I have ordered that families be launched together, but if they separate while still on a parabolic trajectory through the air that’s not on me.”
Others, however, have cast suspicion on claims that Trump really said this.
“Suggesting we load human beings in catapults sound plausible, but using words like parabolic and trajectory is not something this President would do.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: border; catapults; deportation; humor
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I'm dying of laughter here!!
1
posted on
11/09/2018 7:53:46 PM PST
by
Morgana
To: Morgana
I’ve always been partial to trebuchets myself.
2
posted on
11/09/2018 7:55:18 PM PST
by
E. Pluribus Unum
(Democracy dies when Democrats refuse to accept the result of a democratic election they didn't win.)
To: Morgana
3
posted on
11/09/2018 7:59:13 PM PST
by
TigersEye
(This is the age of the death of reason.)
To: Morgana
PC fail.
It should be Treb u chet to make it more worldly.
4
posted on
11/09/2018 8:00:30 PM PST
by
Deaf Smith
(When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken that's fore sure)
To: TigersEye
5
posted on
11/09/2018 8:01:56 PM PST
by
Aria
To: Morgana
6
posted on
11/09/2018 8:10:33 PM PST
by
W.
(Just start shooting the bastards!)
To: Morgana
Hey!
This was MY idea!
I came up with it years ago. I should demand royalties.
I will wave the royalties if they actually do it.
7
posted on
11/09/2018 8:13:02 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold.)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
When Trump was asking companies for wall demos why did you not suggest yours?
8
posted on
11/09/2018 8:19:03 PM PST
by
Morgana
( Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
To: Morgana
9
posted on
11/09/2018 8:19:34 PM PST
by
Huskrrrr
To: Morgana
I sent in a model.
Then I had to spend a whole week trying to explain to the Secret Service that it was NOT a weapon of mass destruction.
They told me they passed it on but I am beginning to suspect they just stole my idea.
10
posted on
11/09/2018 8:22:21 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, and somewhere else the tea is getting cold.)
To: Morgana
I’m pretty sure this was suggested here on FR.
11
posted on
11/09/2018 8:32:42 PM PST
by
bigbob
(Trust Trump. Trust the Plan.)
To: bigbob; Chode
“I’m pretty sure this was suggested here on FR.”
That would not surprise me at the least
12
posted on
11/09/2018 8:41:11 PM PST
by
Morgana
( Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
To: bigbob
Just have every illegal alien defendant stand in a launch basket that’s part of the hearing room.
“Press Button if Guilty”
13
posted on
11/09/2018 8:42:38 PM PST
by
Oscar in Batangas
(12:01 PM 1/20/2017...The end of an error.)
To: Morgana
Hoping they were hurling pumpkins on the edges of the razor wire.
14
posted on
11/09/2018 8:51:48 PM PST
by
Clint N. Suhks
(Every time President Trump calls CNN fake news another hair falls off Brian Stelter's head.)
To: Morgana
yup...
15
posted on
11/09/2018 9:11:40 PM PST
by
Chode
( WeÂ’re America, Bitch!)
To: E. Pluribus Unum
I’ve always been partial to trebuchets myself. 6 one and half a dozen another? Or 6 one and 8 another?
16
posted on
11/09/2018 10:00:52 PM PST
by
JockoManning
(http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
Just wave the royalties for common folks. Insist on double royalties for MS 13 gang members. LOL.
17
posted on
11/09/2018 10:02:29 PM PST
by
JockoManning
(http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
To: Oscar in Batangas
Just have every illegal alien defendant stand in a launch basket that’s part of the hearing room.
“Press Button if Guilty” You're getting into the real guffaw range. Imagining a long skylight that slides open sufficient length. An instantly inflatable hang glider for common folks and nothing for MS gang members.
Or, maybe, in keeping with the style of MS 13 gang members, have a huge foam pit for common folks, adjust the trajectory to a field of long sharp spikes for the MS 13 gang members. I would not lose sleep over it--well--not much. LOL.
18
posted on
11/09/2018 10:07:31 PM PST
by
JockoManning
(http://www.zazzle.com/brain_truth for hats T's e.g. STAY CALM & DO THE NEXT LOVING THING)
To: JockoManning
Hey Jocko,
Remind me never to get into a guffaw contest with you.
That was pretty fine.
Are you a mechanical, civil or aeronautical engineer?
19
posted on
11/09/2018 10:25:16 PM PST
by
Oscar in Batangas
(12:01 PM 1/20/2017...The end of an error.)
To: Chode
20
posted on
11/10/2018 3:35:31 AM PST
by
mabarker1
(Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!!)
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