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Dems Want $100 Million to Deal With Street Defecation [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/23/2019 1:51:04 PM PDT by John Semmens

Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Calif) and Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn) are proposing a federal grant program that would provide $100 million per year to cities to fund diapers.

“As we have seen, many of our urban centers are struggling to deal with people defecating in the streets,” Rep. Lee said. “On the one hand, the accumulating piles of excrement pose a health hazard. On the other hand, cities want to respect people’s right to pursue happiness in their own way. Our proposed legislation bridges this gap by providing the funds to pay for the distribution of adult diapers in these feces bestrewn cities.”

Whether the targeted population can be persuaded to avail themselves of the free diapers was not explicitly addressed by Lee, however, she did express optimism that “their sense of human decency combined with the absence of any out-of-pocket expense for the needed supplies would prove adequate to make a significant dent in the problem.”

Democrat 2020 presidential contender former Texas Rep. Beto O’Rourke quickly endorsed the proposed measure and pointed out that “full diapers would offer some ripe opportunities for pranking friends and loved ones.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2019/03/23/dems-want-100-million-to-deal-with-street-defecation/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; diapers; feces; satire

1 posted on 03/23/2019 1:51:04 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Bookmark


2 posted on 03/23/2019 2:00:05 PM PDT by aquila48
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To: John Semmens

I don’t know why the American people don’t demand that the politicians go out and clean up the crap on the sidewalks. They’re the ones who made it legal to do it.


3 posted on 03/23/2019 2:00:45 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (#NotARussianBot)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

Visted downtown Seattle lately ?


4 posted on 03/23/2019 2:03:13 PM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (Baseball players, gangsters and musicians are remembered. But journalists are forgotten.)
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To: John Semmens

Powerwashers for cleaning up crap and bathing the homeless. A twofer!


5 posted on 03/23/2019 2:36:42 PM PDT by dynachrome (Build the wall, deport them all.)
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To: John Semmens

That’s satire? Sounds like the DNC platform to me.


6 posted on 03/23/2019 3:01:42 PM PDT by thepatriot1 (...brought to you courtesy of the Red, White and Blue)
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To: John Semmens

realizing this is satire, but the feds shouldn’t be paying any grants for poor decision making on the part of cities.


7 posted on 03/23/2019 4:16:29 PM PDT by blueplum ("...this moment is your moment: it belongs to you... " President Donald J. Trump, Jan 20, 2017)
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To: John Semmens

I would think such dollars would be for a program to convince everyone else that pooping in the streets was honorable, healthy, and normal and that those opposed to it were bigots.


8 posted on 03/23/2019 6:01:09 PM PDT by ConservativeMind (Trump: Befuddling Democrats, Republicans, and the Media for the benefit of the US and all mankind.)
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To: John Semmens

GOP ads for 2020.
This is California...this is Seattle...this is Portland.
This is your city in 10 years if the Democrats win in 2020.

The cowards would never do it.


9 posted on 03/23/2019 7:20:40 PM PDT by Zathras
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To: John Semmens

Let me guess local businesses would rather not let people use their restrooms so they, the homeless and others, have no choice to use the street. I know that after ging to six different gas stations here those restrooms were locked and sign said they were closed fro 6PM to 6AM. no choice but to find a nearby alley. And I own a house and car.


10 posted on 03/24/2019 9:54:03 AM PDT by zaxtres
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