Skip to comments.Candidate Wants to Free Youthful Criminals [semi-satire]
Posted on 06/06/2019 11:42:46 AM PDT by John Semmens
Seeking to gain a foothold in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio hopes to sew up the young criminal vote by releasing more of them on their own recognizance while their cases are pending.
In so many of these cases, the accused youths cannot make bail, de Blasio observed. I thought, why not use the same catch-and-release approach that has worked so well for asylum seekers and let them go free as long as they promise to show up for trial. We will save the government the cost of housing these individuals and allow them to continue to reduce the overall population of criminals by preying upon each otheras it seems is their main activity when not behind bars.
A key part of his proposal is raising the age limit for release without bail to 19 years old. This way youngsters eligible to vote will see that I am on their side, the Mayor explained. This is a much bigger cohort than the release of the tiny number of wrongly convicted that Trumps ballyhooed prison reform legislation will ever achieve because it does not discriminate between those who are and arent guilty. Thats more votes for me. Then, once I am president, all will be treated equally.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
I guess if that kind of thinking is all you’ll need, then anyone could be NYC mayor. Maybe even NY governor.
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