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Pelosi Calls for Investigation [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/04/2020 12:48:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) announced the creation of the House Select Committee on the Coronavirus Crisis. House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif), leader of this year's unsuccessful attempt to remove Trump from office via impeachment, is expected to head up this ad hoc committee.

President Trump has questioned the timing of this announcement and suggested that "we win the war against this virus rather than wasting precious time and scarce resources trying to allocate blame now. After we've won this war we can assess what went wrong and what went right so we can be better prepared for future medical emergencies."

To bolster his suggestion, Trump recalled that "when Gov. Dewey—one of the great New York governors—was running against FDR in the 1944 election there were some urging him to support a congressional investigation of the Pearl Harbor disaster and why we were unprepared for the Japanese attack. While acknowledging that such an investigation might help him win the election, he declined to support it saying 'I'd rather lose an election than lose a war.' He put patriotism ahead of politics. Why can't we do that now?"

"Need I point out that Dewey lost that election?" Pelosi retorted. "Given that Trump is a far more serious threat to the country than the virus, I can assure you that we Democrats will not be using Dewey as a model for us to emulate. Despite our best efforts over the past three years to save the nation from the incompetence and evil intent manifested by Trump, the peril has only grown worse. We owe it to the American people to use any means and every opportunity to end the nightmare that began on November 8, 2016 as soon as possible. If our inquiry distracts Trump from carrying out his inept actions during the crisis, so much the better."

In other insane news, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) and Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-Mass) are demanding that Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar compile statistics on the race of COVID-19 patients. "We need to know whether minorities are suffering in numbers disproportionate to their share of the total population," Warren said. "If they are that will be more evidence of the racist impacts of the Trump Administration's handling of this crisis."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/280210-2020-04-04-semi-news-semi-satire-april-5-2020-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; History; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: dewey; fdr; impeachment; pearlharbor; pelosi; racism; satire; schiff; trump; virus; warren; wwii

1 posted on 04/04/2020 12:48:35 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


2 posted on 04/04/2020 12:51:43 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

3 posted on 04/04/2020 1:12:07 AM PDT by yoe (Want to HELP the Slave Trade and Drug Cartels in USA? Vote for a democrat........)
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To: John Semmens

This all brings up the 1.5 meter/5 ft hygiene social distancing rule, and how you’d have the hearings in a ‘safe’ atmosphere. Even the little ‘flunkys’ who hang out behind the Congresspeople would have to participate the same way with the 1.5 meter rule.

I just don’t see this ever functioning like the previous hearings. Would they hold classified-behind-the-door meetings....with fake secret data?


4 posted on 04/04/2020 1:43:40 AM PDT by pepsionice
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To: John Semmens

Perhaps SanFranNan could bring a federal civil rights lawsuit against the virus. That would show it who is the boss!


5 posted on 04/04/2020 5:16:58 AM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: sima_yi

Oh please,....dont give the dingbat any ideas....cackle.....


6 posted on 04/04/2020 7:57:38 AM PDT by Liz (Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use.)
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To: John Semmens

PELOSI MADE MILLIONS: Bought AMAZON stock b4 retail stores told to close...???

Jus anutter dem — do as I say, not as I do — anus...


7 posted on 04/04/2020 9:42:46 AM PDT by litehaus (A memory toooo long.............)
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To: All

Penlosi says “the president is dithering” on providing solutions to the virus.

Just a thought Nanzi-——

If YOU have solutions or better ideas to help Americans stay safe.....there is nothing standing in your way. So speak up.


She’ll probably urge Americans to go to Chinatown and to Chinese restaurants.......
then send out raghead Omar to tell Americans they’re racist.

Vile Democraps.


8 posted on 04/05/2020 5:49:04 AM PDT by Liz (Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use.)
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To: John Semmens
"I'd rather lose an election than lose a war." He put patriotism ahead of politics. Why can't we do that now?

A very good point. Thanks for bringing it up.

9 posted on 04/06/2020 11:56:21 PM PDT by ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas (Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe.)
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