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Gov Irate at Citizens' Insubordination [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/31/2020 12:03:49 PM PDT by John Semmens

As the mass hysteria that allowed so many governors to frighten citizens into mindless obedience to inane and oppressive edicts has waned, Washington State Governor Jay Inslee (D) is irate. "I am the ruler of this state," he declared. "It is everyone's obligation—citizen and non-citizen, alike—to do what I tell them to do."

A major irritant has been the increasingly widespread refusal of sheriffs and local police to cite, arrest, shutdown, or otherwise harass individuals attempting to enjoy the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness our representative democracy is meant to secure. "I consequently have ordered the Department of Labor and Industries to impose $10,000 per day fines for any deviations from the path I have decreed the state must follow in these perilous times of pandemic and climate change," Inslee announced.

It's possible that the real source of Inslee's actions are revelations that a substantial portion of the state's Cares Act funding allocation was scammed away by Nigerian princes. Inslee defended state bureaucrats duped by this oldest of scams, asserting that "the need for speed combined with the apparent opportunity to leverage our funds with millions of extra dollars in inheritance money that otherwise might have been snatched up by another state may have led to inadequate vetting of the eligibility of these recipients."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: incompetence; lockdown; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 05/31/2020 12:03:49 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
CNN Draws Largest Crowd In Years

ATLANTA, GA—CNN executives were baffled by a large crowd outside their offices and in their lobby Friday, not having seen an audience that size in many years.

2 posted on 05/31/2020 12:10:40 PM PDT by Bob434
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