MORFORD: The Best Gizmo You Don't Have

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/7/5 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

See parents. Check on pets. Stare into a lover's eyes. Or up her dress. Buy one now

This much we know: There are only a finite number of breaths left in your life. There are only a finite number of times you will have sex in an elevator and a finite number of times you will drink $200 bottles of wine and a finite number of times you will scream your orgasmic joys and endure horrible Texas presidents and eat raw oysters and buy $250 designer jeans and suck down too much Halloween candy and howl at the moon. And so on.

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert

You've been warned!

[Moleman]

I have a "Gizmo", he is a Yorkie.

[RightWingAtheist]

BANANA-SNIFFING MOONBAT ALERT!