Today is a good day to die.
I didn't say for whom.
Posted on 01/28/2011 5:50:51 PM PST by NormsRevenge
WASHINGTON – The U.S. government says candy imported from Pakistan called Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge is not safe to eat. Who would have guessed?
The Food and Drug Administration announced that the U.S. distributor of Nuclear Sludge chew bars is recalling the candy because of lead contamination. No one has been sickened, but the FDA said elevated lead content could be harmful to small children, infants and pregnant women.
The candies were manufactured in Pakistan. Indianapolis-based Candy Dynamics said it would stop selling all Nuclear Sludge candy in the U.S. The candy is wrapped in bright yellow caution-like tape, and the company's website features the screech of a blaring warning horn. The bars were distributed in stores throughout the U.S. and Canada.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
FDA Recall
Candy Dynamics Expands Recall To All Toxic Waste® Brand Nuclear Sludge® Products All Flavors And All Sizes
http://www.fda.gov/Safety/Recalls/ucm241359.htm
And nothing but Snickers were heard from Mars Candy, Inc.
How is it cheaper to make candy bars in Pakistan and ship to the other side of the world?
lol
Crap. I’ve eaten this candy during the past year.
Nope. Gimme a good Twix™ and I’m golden.
Cut to studio. A door opens. Inspector Praline looks round door.
Praline: (to camera) Hello. (he walks in followed by Superintendent Parrot and goes to desk) Mr Milton? You are sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
Milton: I am.
Praline: Superintendent Parrot and I are from the hygiene squad.We want to have a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled the Whizzo Quality Assortment.
Milton: Ah, yes.
Praline: (producing box of chocolate) If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. This is extremely nasty, but we can’t prosecute you for that.
Milton: Agreed.
Praline: Next we have number four, ‘Crunchy Frog’.
Milton: Ah, yes.
Praline: Am I right in thinking there’s a real frog in here?
Milton: Yes. A little one.
Praline: What sort of frog?
Milton: A dead frog.
Praline: Is it cooked?
Milton: No.
Praline: What, a raw frog?
Superintendent Parrot looks increasingly queasy.
Milton: We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.
Praline: That’s as may be, but it’s still a frog!
Milton: What else?
Praline: Well don’t you even take the bones out?
Milton: If we took the bones out it wouldn’t be crunchy would it?
Praline: Superintendent Parrot ate one of those.
Parrot: Excuse me a moment. (exits hurriedly)
Praline: Well, the Superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People won’t expect there to be a frog in there. They’re bound to think it’s some sort of mock frog.
Milton: (insulted) Mock frog? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!
Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words ‘crunchy frog’, and replace them with the legend, ‘crunchy raw unboned real dead frog’ if you want to avoid prosecution.
Milton: What about our sales?
Praline: I’m not interested in your sales! I have to protect the general public! Now what about this one. (superintendent enters) It was number five, wasn’t it? (superintendent nods) Number five Ram’s Bladder Cup. (exit superintendent) What sort of confection is this?
Milton: We use choicest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish ram’s bladder, emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue and garnished with lark’s vomit.
Praline: Larks vomit?
Milton: Correct.
Praline: Well it don’t say nothing about that here.
Milton: Oh yes it does, on the bottom of the box, after monosodium glutamate.
Praline: (looking) Well I hardly think this is good enough. I think it’s be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label warning lark’s vomit.
Milton: Our sales would plummet!
Praline: Well why don’t you move into more conventional areas of confectionary, like praline or lime cream; a very popular flavor, I’m lead to understand. (superintendent enters) I mean look at this one ‘cockroach cluster’, (superintendent exits) anthrax ripple! What’s this one: ‘spring surprise’?
Milton: Ah - now, that’s our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it into your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks.
Praline: Well where’s the pleasure in that? If people place a nice chocky in their mouth, they don’t want their cheeks pierced. In any case this is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat. I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the station.
Milton: (getting up from the desk and being led away) It’s a fair cop.
Praline: Stop talking to the camera.
Milton: I’m sorry.
Supeintendent Parrot enters the room as Inspector Praline and Milton leave, and addresses the camera.
Parrot: If only the general public would take more care when buying its sweeties, it would reduce the number of man-hours lost to the nation and they would spend less time having their stomachs pumped and sitting around in public lavatories.
Very GOOD, lol
never heard of it
Irony, thy name is Pakistani candy.
They also said the “Super Yummy Lead Bars - Now with Melamine!” from China, were also not safe to eat.
lol
Same way its apparently cheaper to make CFL bulbs in China and ship them here.
I don’t eat anything made in the middle east-period. Check preserves and jellies sometime-especially the ‘gourmet’ stuff. Food made in countries with a high lunatic demographic is just too risky.
Next, from the secret Iraqi stockpiles of WMD, Yellow Cake Candy. You’ll glow with pleasure at the taste of Saddam’s bon-bons.
yeah regulate the heck out of US companies and give tax rebates to the foreigners
Its especially nice if you’re GE. You can You can support regulations here as you sell carbon credits to yourself in China as you mandate the use of your product.
They had MORE flavors than they usually did in the Chicklets factories in the US and elsewhere, so Arab stores carried them.
I think somebody bombed them ~ or the gun arabic trees weren't doing well. Hard to find stuff these days.
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