Florida: The Punchline State

WSJ ^ | 2 Sept 2016 | Dave Barry

[DUMBGRUNT]

These interviewers are not always calling from states that have a lot to brag about. I have been interviewed on the wrongness of Florida by people who live in, for example, Illinois, which constantly has to build new prisons just to hold all of its convicted former governors, who form violent prison gangs and get into rumbles with gangs of convicted former state legislators....

...How did this happen? As far as I have been able to determine without doing any research, the turning point was the 2000 presidential election. On election night, almost all of the other states were able to figure out pretty quickly whether they voted for Al Gore or George W. Bush. But not Florida. Florida had no earthly idea who it had voted for. By dawn we still had no winner, and network TV political analysts were openly shooting heroin on camera.

[DUMBGRUNT]

The intelligent ones immediately realize that they need to turn around and go back out the way they came in. The ones with average intelligence, or even slightly below-average intelligence, take longer, but eventually they too figure it out. But what happens to the really stupid rats?

That’s right: They elect the governor of Illinois.

I live in Illinois, and this is a fact!

[vetvetdoug]

I’ll have to wait to read it when it shows up on another source. Not going to sign in or subscribe to the rag. Barry shows up other places.

[from occupied ga]

To read the full story subscribe or sign in.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

[DUMBGRUNT]

Did you try using a search engine to to breach the paywall?

Google, MS, Yahoo...sometimes pay the providers so you will use their search.

Enter a key phrase and select ‘news’, good luck.

[MichaelRDanger]

From my perspective: Florida is a “free” state. This offends the liberal totalitarians...

[SoFloFreeper]

We knew who won on election night 2000, Dave. Al Gore, IIRC, had even called to concede to Dubya. Then a few minutes later his handlers convinced the stiff to call back and rescind his concession.

And we had weeks of court battles. EVERY RECOUNT of the statewide vote showed a win for the Republican.

Even more disgusting was that four years later, the haughty John F Kerry who served in Vietnam refused to concede on election night. Democrats are such sore losers.