First, if you look around...you will notice lots of situations like this....husband and wife who can’t resolve their political feelings....father and daughter....grandfather and grandson...etc. In the big picture of America, we have crossed a divide and now have to deal with this personal conflict.
Second, you might as well accept the idea that when he is in your presence, there will not be one single topic revolving around politics to be discussed. You can sit down and write the list of a hundred things (weather, vacations, car repairs, etc). Memorize the list...stick to the list. If he moves to the bad-topic list, simply raise a finger, smile, and note that we will only discuss things which require no arguments. For a short duration visit of 24 to 72 hours, I think most people can stick to this agenda and get by. If he stays longer than 72 hours, I doubt if your patience will be enough.
Third, in your mind...you need to see him as somewhat lost, but the odds are in five to ten years...he will have found his compass and come mostly back to some acceptable ‘norm’. By continually sticking to your 100 topics list...you will enforce upon him the idea that he has to find a way to work with other people. In companies that he will work in...neighbors of his...etc, he will eventually have to learn to keep cordial relations or fail in life.
The bottom line is that he is one of millions with this inability to handle reality. So, create a fake safe space with topics of conversation that have nothing to do with politics or news.
Thank you, good advice. This will be easier when he moves out for sure, and I’m hoping that distance can help the relationship.
It has been ridiculous that my husband and I have to sneak off to another room to have a political discussion or whisper in our office just to avoid him hearing us so that he doesn’t stride in with some sort of snide comment. A week ago or so we had a friend over and we were discussing Trump, MAGA, etc., and he was walking through the room. He had some snarky things to say, and then said how he was just not going to care about politics anymore. I told him to stop talking about it if he didn’t care, and to let us have our own conversation. He did send me an apology text later.