Posted on 12/19/2017 8:08:52 AM PST by Impy
Christmas is almost here! What gift would you like, Belly Betton Chick?
"Besides the key to that padlock you've got on the door? I already told you, a fancy smartphone, like the one Al has."
"Ziggy, caluclate the odds of Impy being able to afford one of you. Let's see here, Ziggy says the odds are one in 700 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahundred thousand he could afford one unless he sells a kidney. But they'll rise to 98% in two years once Ziggy is badly obsolete."
I've grown fond of my internal organs, best choose something else, love.
"Ok I want......Bears GM Ryan Pace's dirty doodoo head on a spike."
Hmmmmm, Santa?
"That's doable. And what would like, NFL Commissioner Smith?"
"10 more echo dots, one for every room of the ship. And for Roger Goodell to to stop squatting in MY office! Yaaaaar!"
"But Jane kicked me out, I have no place else to go. Hey Santa, can I have the cure for micropenis? Maybe Jane would take me back if my member was visible to the naked eye."
"Sorry bozo, I'm fresh out. Try the Wizard of Oz. And what would you like, little girl, maybe one of those doohickeys that burns off ladies' facial hair?"
"Hey, I'm a boy!"
"Ho ho huh? Sorry, it's just with the hair I thought you were Frank and Elsa Stein's 
little girl. So, what do you want then, little boy?"
"Who are you calling boy!? I want my OWN NFL team. That way I could finally play again! I hear the Panthers are availible."
But if you had a team you'd want them to win, right?
"Well of course, honky, what's your point?"
You need a good quaterback to win, do you see where I'm going with this?
"Ah nuts."
"And what shall I put in your stocking, Pittsburgh Stoolers Head Coach Omar Epps?"
"Someone that can explain to me what a 'football move' is."
"Yaar, Alexa, what's a 'football move'?"
"Stephen Hawking, Sheldon from 'The Big Bang Theory' and I are working on figuring out what a 'football move' is, we'll let you know."
"Alexa, what's the armor that covers your neck called?"
"Alexa, what's the weather in Calcutta?"
"I didn't know Calcutta was in Ohio. I shoulda paid more attention in school."
"The piece of armor you seek is called a gorget."
"Thanks, your Grace. Alexa add 'gorget' to my shopping list."
Merry Christmas!!!
More NFL treason.
And a colossal wast of time, space, and bandwidth.
I’ll take my time with picks but the Florida Atlantic Owls will beat the Akron Zips in the Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl tonight.
I hope the prize isn’t a lifetime supply of Cheribundi Tart Cherry.
To which you have also contributed.
Saturday, Dec 23, 2017
Baltimore
Minnesota
Sunday, Dec 24, 2017
New Orleans
New England
Chicago
Denver
Cincinnati
N.Y. Jets
Tennessee
Kansas City
Carolina
Jacksonville
Arizona
Dallas
Monday, Dec 25, 2017
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Hey, Impy!
Of the games coming up, which one’s are “win and in” and “loser out”?
We can worry about tie breakers later.
And I’ll continue to call out this cuck behavior as often as it occurs.
The Giants should enjoy the Arizona sun and just no-show for the dumb game.
Man... what a crappy assortment of games. Outside of Atlanta-New Orleans, I don’t think there’s ONE that I care to see.
Cleveland @ Chicago?? LOL! Is there a way they can BOTH lose?? I bet they both try to.
I wonder what the odds are on whether there will be more flags than first downs?
Antifa schedule for this weekend:
Cleveland: Rally at the veterans cemetery to deface monuments..
Philadelphia: Airport meet-up to spit on people in military uniform.
Seattle: March and flag burning. Just because.
.
Black Lives Matter weekend schedule:
Detroit: Basketball shoe donation drive. Locations vary. Please bring own brick.
San Francisco: Huey Newton Theater: Lecture: "Paternity Tests. How to beat them"
Baltimore
Green Bay
New Orleans
New England
Cleveland Now that the #1 overall pick is secured...
Washington
Detroit
N.Y. Jets
L.A. Rams
Kansas City
Carolina
Jacksonville Looking at this game last April, who thought it would possibly be the most entertaining game of the weekend?
Arizona
Seattle
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Anyway, I think there's not going to be a lot of disagreement in picks this week.
Baltimore
Minnesota
New Orleans
New England (5 star lock of the week! Call now and receive two additional picks for huge discount!)
Chicago
Washington
Detroit
Chargers
Rams
Kansas City
Carolina (Future home of Pee Diddy and Kraperdork)
Jacksonville
Arizona
Dallas
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
Rogers isn’t going to play against Minnesota this Saturday.
You might want to rethink your pick.
Merry Christmas, y’all—
Ravens
Viqueens
Loinchopps
My Old Dallas Texans (in Chiefs clothing)
Pattycakes
Bears
Cam’s Carolina Cittycats
Falcons
Deadskins
LA Ewes
Bolts
Jags
My Boys
Cards
Stoolers
And a Happy New Year!
Wake up folks... turn the bread and circus/sports/TV off!
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