Skip to comments.Groans and Grins
Posted on 02/04/2018 6:39:38 AM PST by sodpoodle
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania .
They drive in a rental car along a rather deserted highway.
It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car.
Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree...
Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees Betty unconscious, with her head bleeding.
Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. He carefully picks her up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light and heads towards it, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A small, hunched man opens the door..
Bob blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been Seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
"I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in, and I will get him."
Bob brings his wife in.
An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had some basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious,Igor. Prepare a transfusion."
Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. It is here that he has always found solace and he begins to play. A stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat. He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!
Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:
"Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
What did you expect?
“You know you’re a redneck when......
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21 You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side.
24. The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Try the veal!
Good, good, even with the long setup. Anticipation made the payoff worthwhile.
Now. To keep to news and politics with that theme: Obama was all anticipation and no payoff, and Trump is more payoff than the press and Dems can bear. The hills are indeed alive with the sound of music.
You know youre a redneck when......
You post these inanities ...
Subject: Hospital bill
*You don’t have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!*
* A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. *
*The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. *
*The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. *
*He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. *
*”Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” *
*The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” *
*He replied, “No money in the bank.” *
*”Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. *
*He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” *
*The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters!Nuns are married to God.” *
*The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”*
I’m here for the silly comments...
LOLOLOL - My all time favorite one. Description perfectly fits a buddy of mine's mother in law.
That’s a good one...
From the 1960s, iirc.
Yes, Betty and Barney Hill.
Yes, Betty and Barney Hill. A black man married to a white woman, very controversial at the time.
You have a good memory;)
I looked it up and found several links; here’s Wiki:
The Hills lived in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.[self-published source] Barney (19221969) was employed by the United States Postal Service, while Betty (19192004) was a social worker. Active in the local Unitarian congregation, the Hills were also members of the NAACP and community leaders, and Barney sat on a local board of the United States Commission on Civil Rights. They were an interracial couple at a time when it was particularly uncommon in the United States; Barney was African American and Betty was white.
It IS general/chat
inanity: the quality or state of being inane: such as; lack of substance : emptiness - inanity in a sentence.
I try to offer a break from the heavy load of current events, scandals and the MSM biased reporting, with humor and chit chat.
Should I Opus Out?
With a voice that sounds like she gargled with Jack Daniels ... because she did.
lack of substance...Your post? Lighten up Frances.
General Chat, Harry
Next time...could you post this with little checkboxes beside each one 🔳? Also, could you loan me a pencil?
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