Posted on 03/23/2018 3:23:34 PM PDT by savedbygrace
Sitting quietly and squeezing a foam rubber ball is not as effective a method of relieving stress as just smacking someone in the gob, a new study has found.
Stress balls are often found in high-pressure office environments to help staff work off unwanted nervous energy caused by irritating co-workers – but evidence suggests they’re even less effective than homeopathy.
“My boss is a pernickity little Hitler and I’ve been trying to burn off my rage and frustration at him by squeezing a squeaky penguin I got from a trade show years ago,” said sales executive Caroline Hutchins.
“No matter how much I used it I never felt any less stressed.
“But then I tried clocking him one firmly in the plums every time he annoyed me, and I instantly felt a lot better. It’s a miracle.”
Stress reliever
Caroline now plans to market her discovery on the internet under the headline “Local girl cures stress with this one weird trick.”
Management across the country have expressed concern at the news.
“We’ve been fobbing people off with placebos for years,” said a spokesman for the CBI.
“Don’t tell us we’re going to have learn some new management techniques now.
“I’ve got an ‘undermining staff confidence’ seminar coming up next week and I don’t want to have wasted my money.
“Or to get whacked in the happy sacks, for that matter.”
Sales of Bach’s Rescue Remedy have also fallen sharply on the news, as the bottles aren’t big enough to get a decent swing in with.
So what if you throw the stress ball at someone’s face? Maybe that’s moderately satisfying.
LOL!
Dual purpose Stress Ball
Not in the least unless it's an official USSSA softball..........
“Local girl cures stress with this one weird trick!”
What’s her address?
“Local girl cures stress with this one weird trick!”
I think I knew her in college.
WARNING: Side effects may include loss of job, arrest, prosecution, and jail. Use with extreme caution.
“Local girl cures stress with this one weird trick!”
Does this trick involve baby oil and a ostrich?
Because if it does, I think I might know her.
“Or Get whacked in the happy sacks”
Joe Biden will pay big money for that.
“I tried clocking him one in the plums”
Must be British foreplay. Only they would use a clock.
“Let’s ask Big Ben what time it is.”
“Squeezing a squeaky penguin”
Is that what the kids call it now?
“Squeezing a squeaky penguin”
They don’t teach you that at the Audubon Society meetings.
Okay, make stress faces to punch.
Yeah it wont be the same as a real face.
Have you seen some of those girls who work at Sea World?
I’d let them squeeze my squeaky penguin.
Those poor guys down at the Antarctic Research Station.
Stuck down there for six months in the winter with nothing to do besides squeezing the old squeaky penguin.
“blueunicorn6, why must you always make everything dirty?”
Squeezing a squeaky penguin is dirty?
That’s not dirty.
Now, “Working the old walrus”, that’s just filthy.
The site comments are hilarious!
I’d like to take Joe Biden behind the Gym and punch Him in the face.
Factor in the stress acquired via dealing with the lawyers, police, and the courts defending assault charges and the various lawsuits, and the balance shifts somewhat.
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