Posted on 06/27/2018 10:34:22 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
(Excerpt) Read more at laughfactory.com ...
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Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself? -Tom
Thank you FRiend. Good to take time to laugh.
Usually share good posts from here w my wife ......
Did you show yours ?
lolol
That’s funny on a couple of levels.
She walked right into the trap.
The wise husband would (quickly!)follow this prank with keys to the actual car that she was expecting.
Now she’s thinking of ways to turn the tables.
“All in good time, my love, all in good time!”
Considering that my real name IS Bob, I felt compelled to send this to my wife. I hope she laughs.
better reconsider that, Bob
A woman was complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small. Her husband replied “well why don’t you rub them with toilet paper?” The wife replied “ do you think that will work? “ The husband replied, “ why not , it worked on your butt! “.
CC
Husband: What do you want for Valentines?
Wife: Get me something that will make be look sexy.
Husband: A gym membership?
bkmk
Too late. I am now in hiding. Don't tell her. Please.
We would rather not have to report you missing since Friday. :)
Husband comments that wife should quit watching cooking demonstration shows, as they have had no effect on her skills in the kitchen.
Wife replies that he might want to consider giving up watching porn for a similar reason.
I asked the wife what she wanted for her birthday.
She said she wanted me to take her somewhere she has never been before.
I took her to the stove.
I come back from a grocery run with maybe two hundred dollars worth of booze, and my wife yells at me.
So I told her she sometimes spends just as much on clothes and makeup and fancy shampoos and stuff.
So she says “I want to look beautiful for you, honey!”
And I say “that’s what the booze is for!”
She says I can stop sleeping on the couch maybe next week.
Our marriage counselor said that my wife and I should have sex every night. Jeez, now I’ll never see her!
Rodney Dangerfeld
Me and my old lady agreed we would only smoke after sex. I haven’t had a smoke in months. She’s up to 3 packs a day.
Dangerfield.
Rodney
LOL!
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