Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Transplaining: I'm a cisgender man. How do I tell my friends and family my partner is transgender?
Mic ^ | July 3, 2018 | Serena Daniari

Posted on 07/03/2018 12:17:54 PM PDT by EdnaMode

I’m a 35-year-old man and I’ve always identified as straight. I’ve been married twice and been in many relationships with genetic women but it never worked out. Recently, I’ve discovered my attraction to trans women. I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?

I want to commend you for expressing your truth because it takes tremendous courage, particularly while living in a society that has very rigid notions of what masculinity looks and behaves like. In the trans community, we sometimes overlook that the men who are attracted to us must endure a coming out process as well. You’ll be happy to know that you’ve already taken the most challenging step, which is to come to an understanding of your sexuality and embrace it. It sounds like you’re ready to move forward.

Before I continue, I want to note that while you’re probably feeling anxious, your trans partner is likely experiencing some herself. She may be dealing with the usual nerves that come with meeting a partner’s loved ones, coupled with some insecurities regarding how her femininity and womanhood will be perceived. For this reason, I think it’s best to tell your friends and family that she is transgender before you introduce your partner to them. You wouldn’t want to put her in a potentially uncomfortable or dangerous situation that could heighten her gender dysphoria.

When considering your query, I decided to reach out to writer, public speaker and trans activist Tiq Milan for more insight.

“You have to be her first line of defense,” he said in an email. “She is the one that has to be outed to them, so you have an obligation to protect her in awkward situations and intervene if people are disrespectful.”

When you ultimately decide to tell your friends and family, I recommend framing each conversation in a positive light. There’s no need to express your partner’s transness as something that is strange or abnormal. Tell your loved ones you’ve met a wonderful girl who you are very fond of and that she happens to have a different past than most girls because she was assigned male at birth. Let them know that she now identifies as a woman and lives her life accordingly.

Be sure to also sprinkle in some distinctive details about who she is, like her hobbies and aspirations. Paint an accurate and well-rounded picture beyond her trans identity. After all, trans people are multifaceted human beings, full of nuance and depth. We are more than our trans identity.

There is always a chance that certain individuals will not react well to finding out your partner is trans. But in my personal experience, people tend to be much more open and receptive than you may initially think. (It is 2018 after all.) My suggestion is to be open-minded, just like you are hoping your loved ones will be to you. Allow people to surprise you and give them the benefit of the doubt. I think that most of the people who genuinely care about you will just want to see you happy and fulfilled.

Sincerely, Serena


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: cisgender; disorders; fdrq; homosexualagenda; trans; transgender; transplaining
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-111 next last
Transplaining? Cisgender? So many new terms to keep up with.
1 posted on 07/03/2018 12:17:54 PM PDT by EdnaMode
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Cisgender=fag.


2 posted on 07/03/2018 12:19:24 PM PDT by Artemis Webb (Maxine Waters for House Minority Leader!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Barf.

He’s not attracted to “trans women” he’s attracted to hermaphrodites.

Once “she” has completed her surgery he’ll drop her like a hot potato.


3 posted on 07/03/2018 12:19:52 PM PDT by Skywise
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Sick sick sick!


4 posted on 07/03/2018 12:21:05 PM PDT by pgkdan (The Silent Majority STILL Stands With TRUMP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Trying saying...

“I’m a sick perverted weirdo what does not know which restroom to use. And this freak that I sleep with is even more mentally and physically demented than I am!”

That’s all that really needs to be said here. Plain and Simple.


5 posted on 07/03/2018 12:21:33 PM PDT by Responsibility2nd (Roy Moore for the Supreme Court of the USA!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Ok, I’m totally confused..................


6 posted on 07/03/2018 12:21:39 PM PDT by Red Badger (July 2018 - the month the world discovered the TRUTH......Q Anon)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

I told a strange person once I was a spiritual transgender and a homosexual, and that I really loved my wife.

He got angry.


7 posted on 07/03/2018 12:21:59 PM PDT by budj (combat vet, 2nd of 3 generations)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

“I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?”

Man up and tell them that you’re sexually attracted to a man who pretends to be a woman.

Your family will either accept you in health and in sickness, or not.


8 posted on 07/03/2018 12:22:22 PM PDT by treetopsandroofs
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

Dear _____— Here’s how you should think about this: You’re both mentally ill and morally bankrupt.
Have a nice day.


9 posted on 07/03/2018 12:22:30 PM PDT by mikeus_maximus (The Truth does not require our agreement.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode
How do I tell my friends and family my partner is transgender?

Hi mom and dad. I am mentally ill. Can you help me?

10 posted on 07/03/2018 12:23:20 PM PDT by Magnatron
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode
Transplaining? Cisgender? So many new terms to keep up with.

I'm sorry; but, I am not even going to try to keep up with these new terms. They are beyond ridiculous.

11 posted on 07/03/2018 12:23:30 PM PDT by LibertarianLiz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode
"I’m a 35-year-old man and I’ve always identified as straight. I’ve been married twice and been in many relationships with genetic women but it never worked out. "

It never worked out, because you never were a heterosexual, Serena.

12 posted on 07/03/2018 12:23:55 PM PDT by Windflier (Pitchforks and torches ripen on the vine. Left too long, they become black rifles.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode
I’m not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?

Simple.

"I'm gay."

13 posted on 07/03/2018 12:26:08 PM PDT by Hemingway's Ghost (Spirit of '75)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

I’ll just nod and smile and keep on walking.


14 posted on 07/03/2018 12:26:39 PM PDT by DungeonMaster (...the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Forgot to format properly. The first part was sent in by a man asking a question, the rest is Serena replying to his question.


15 posted on 07/03/2018 12:26:51 PM PDT by EdnaMode
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Artemis Webb
Cisgender=fag.

No, I think "cisgender" describes those individuals who "identify" within the sex that they were born ...

16 posted on 07/03/2018 12:27:47 PM PDT by BlueLancer (Antifa and Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) = SturmAbteilung)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Hemingway's Ghost

You’re a fag, Jim.


17 posted on 07/03/2018 12:27:49 PM PDT by shelterguy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: pgkdan

Muy el sicko!


18 posted on 07/03/2018 12:27:50 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam. Buy ammo.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

I gave up with the ABC-LBGQ-XYZ terminology. It’s a foreign language to me, and I’m good with that.


19 posted on 07/03/2018 12:28:00 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EdnaMode

No idea what any of that nonsense means.

Here’s an idea, give up the sexual identity fad of the week and be a man. Find a girl and become normal.


20 posted on 07/03/2018 12:28:10 PM PDT by cyclotic ( We’re the first ones taxed, the last ones considered and the first ones punished)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-111 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson