Skip to comments.Transplaining: I'm a cisgender man. How do I tell my friends and family my partner is transgender?
Posted on 07/03/2018 12:17:54 PM PDT by EdnaMode
Im a 35-year-old man and Ive always identified as straight. Ive been married twice and been in many relationships with genetic women but it never worked out. Recently, Ive discovered my attraction to trans women. Im not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?
I want to commend you for expressing your truth because it takes tremendous courage, particularly while living in a society that has very rigid notions of what masculinity looks and behaves like. In the trans community, we sometimes overlook that the men who are attracted to us must endure a coming out process as well. Youll be happy to know that youve already taken the most challenging step, which is to come to an understanding of your sexuality and embrace it. It sounds like youre ready to move forward.
Before I continue, I want to note that while youre probably feeling anxious, your trans partner is likely experiencing some herself. She may be dealing with the usual nerves that come with meeting a partners loved ones, coupled with some insecurities regarding how her femininity and womanhood will be perceived. For this reason, I think its best to tell your friends and family that she is transgender before you introduce your partner to them. You wouldnt want to put her in a potentially uncomfortable or dangerous situation that could heighten her gender dysphoria.
When considering your query, I decided to reach out to writer, public speaker and trans activist Tiq Milan for more insight.
You have to be her first line of defense, he said in an email. She is the one that has to be outed to them, so you have an obligation to protect her in awkward situations and intervene if people are disrespectful.
When you ultimately decide to tell your friends and family, I recommend framing each conversation in a positive light. Theres no need to express your partners transness as something that is strange or abnormal. Tell your loved ones youve met a wonderful girl who you are very fond of and that she happens to have a different past than most girls because she was assigned male at birth. Let them know that she now identifies as a woman and lives her life accordingly.
Be sure to also sprinkle in some distinctive details about who she is, like her hobbies and aspirations. Paint an accurate and well-rounded picture beyond her trans identity. After all, trans people are multifaceted human beings, full of nuance and depth. We are more than our trans identity.
There is always a chance that certain individuals will not react well to finding out your partner is trans. But in my personal experience, people tend to be much more open and receptive than you may initially think. (It is 2018 after all.) My suggestion is to be open-minded, just like you are hoping your loved ones will be to you. Allow people to surprise you and give them the benefit of the doubt. I think that most of the people who genuinely care about you will just want to see you happy and fulfilled.
Hes not attracted to trans women hes attracted to hermaphrodites.
Once she has completed her surgery hell drop her like a hot potato.
Sick sick sick!
“I’m a sick perverted weirdo what does not know which restroom to use. And this freak that I sleep with is even more mentally and physically demented than I am!”
That’s all that really needs to be said here. Plain and Simple.
Ok, I’m totally confused..................
I told a strange person once I was a spiritual transgender and a homosexual, and that I really loved my wife.
He got angry.
“Im not ashamed, but I am nervous for my friends and family to meet my amazing and beautiful transgender partner. How should I break it to them?”
Man up and tell them that you’re sexually attracted to a man who pretends to be a woman.
Your family will either accept you in health and in sickness, or not.
Dear _____— Here’s how you should think about this: You’re both mentally ill and morally bankrupt.
Have a nice day.
Hi mom and dad. I am mentally ill. Can you help me?
I'm sorry; but, I am not even going to try to keep up with these new terms. They are beyond ridiculous.
It never worked out, because you never were a heterosexual, Serena.
I’ll just nod and smile and keep on walking.
Forgot to format properly. The first part was sent in by a man asking a question, the rest is Serena replying to his question.
No, I think "cisgender" describes those individuals who "identify" within the sex that they were born ...
Youre a fag, Jim.
Muy el sicko!
I gave up with the ABC-LBGQ-XYZ terminology. It’s a foreign language to me, and I’m good with that.
No idea what any of that nonsense means.
Here’s an idea, give up the sexual identity fad of the week and be a man. Find a girl and become normal.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.