For Mayor Globe-trotter, it's the money that matters (Chicago, and J.B. Pritzker)

Chicago Tribune ^ | 7/13/2018 | John Kass

[simpson96]

(snip) local politics has its own charms, no?

If you’re a taxpayer or homeowner, local politics and the taxes local politicians keep raising tend to eat through your savings—and the equity in your home — like a ravenous herd of zombie wharf rats.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel will use his vast multimillion-dollar political warchest — in an impossibly crowded field of challengers — to help him get the matchup he needs to survive a runoff in the spring.

That’s the main event. Emanuel wants desperately to survive.

But there’s also that race for governor of Illinois, between socially liberal Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner and Boss Madigan’s favorite billionaire, Democrat J.B. Pritzker, the plumber’s helper.

And I don’t mind telling you that I’m quite disappointed in Rauner’s plumber commercial. I’m truly disappointed.

It pokes fun at Pritzker for buying a mansion next to his Astor Street palace, then having the toilets removed and the home listed as uninhabitable, which resulted in a $230,000 property tax break on the mansion that still had toilets.

So perhaps all Illinois homeowners, even those who aren’t billionaires and can’t buy mansions next door, should follow the Pritzker model.

To survive whopping Illinois property taxes, let’s all just knock out the toilets in our own homes and set up port-a-potties in our backyards.

Because this is Illinois, where there are corncobs aplenty, and if that’s what we have to do to stay in our homes, dadgummit, we’ll do it.

So you bet I’m outraged. But not because of the port-a-potties.

It’s that Pritzker plumber commercial of Rauner’s.

I wanted at least three fat plumbers in that commercial, one of them being Pritzker. And all of them were to have pushed the toilets. Each was to wear jeans belted underneath the belly and T-shirts that weren’t long enough.

[Redleg Duke]

There is nothing wrong with Illinios that carpet bombing Chicago wouldn’t fix.

[T-Bone Texan]

The Pritzker family are rich a-holes; Donald did battle with them in the past, and defeated them. (a hotel deal, I think, in the 80’s).

They hate our President.

[Stosh]

For non-Illinoisans who haven’t been inundated with JB Pritzker commercials, here’s what they’re like: Imagine those pictures of “Kim Il Jung looking at things” (there’s even a web-site for that), and replace Kim with a Caucasian who looks just as dumb, just fatter and with a marginally better haircut.

That’s Illinois’s next governor.

[EC Washington]

The Pritzkes own the Hyatt Hotel Chain - they are Multi Billionaires who seem to be in court on regular basis. They are so crooked that some of their own family members sued them for mismanagement of company funds. JB as Governor will completely sink Illinois.

[Stosh]

Actually, let’s make that Kim Jong-Un (better on the obesity coefficient): https://www.ranker.com/list/51-best-pictures-of-kim-jong-un-looking-at-things-v1/ariel-kana

[DUMBGRUNT]

“a Caucasian who looks just as dumb, just fatter and with a marginally better haircut.”

All that, and some appear to me, trying to give Pritzker a slight Hispanic look.

Maybe I need a new monitor or glasses?

[Freedumb]

J.B. does kinda look like Former Governor/Clinton Lackey Bill Richardson, before Richardson lost all that weight. Maybe J.B. is one of those famed white Hispanics, who can’t be trusted with guns.