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Need a smile?
email from a friend | 10/6/2018 | unnown

Posted on 10/06/2018 10:49:20 AM PDT by sodpoodle

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again'?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you f#**%g! retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: marriage
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SEND THIS TO ALL THE MEN & WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH.
1 posted on 10/06/2018 10:49:20 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

Sorry, but I reacted to that one as a “groaner”.


2 posted on 10/06/2018 10:52:12 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: Olog-hai

Yes, any woman that talks to her husband that way is not funny but disgusting!


3 posted on 10/06/2018 10:55:30 AM PDT by notaliberal (St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle,)
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To: Olog-hai

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”


4 posted on 10/06/2018 10:58:43 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

My son is autistic.


5 posted on 10/06/2018 11:01:00 AM PDT by Hammerhead
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To: sodpoodle

8-)


6 posted on 10/06/2018 11:01:21 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: notaliberal

A wife asked her husband, “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor!”


7 posted on 10/06/2018 11:01:31 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: notaliberal

Decent joke until ruined by the wife’s vulgar “effing retard” crack.


8 posted on 10/06/2018 11:08:54 AM PDT by Blurb2350
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To: BenLurkin

Thx for your smile:)

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”


9 posted on 10/06/2018 11:09:01 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: Hammerhead

Relevance to this thread?


10 posted on 10/06/2018 11:09:16 AM PDT by bramps (It's the Islam, stupid!)
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To: bramps

Reading comprehension much?


11 posted on 10/06/2018 11:13:32 AM PDT by Hammerhead
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To: bramps

i don’t get the reference either. what does his son have to do with the joke???


12 posted on 10/06/2018 11:16:20 AM PDT by ronniesgal (I wonder what his FR handle is?????)
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To: Hammerhead

And now an insult? I simply didn’t read anything suggesting anything about autism. Sure you have the right thread?


13 posted on 10/06/2018 11:17:45 AM PDT by bramps (It's the Islam, stupid!)
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To: sodpoodle

That one’s funny.


14 posted on 10/06/2018 11:25:24 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: bramps

the remark about fn’ing retards.

get it?


15 posted on 10/06/2018 11:29:30 AM PDT by Hammerhead
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To: bramps

Liberal going wacko:

https://media1.tenor.com/images/fb42102e9af76b598768f214d5f3a96f/tenor.gif?itemid=10344637


16 posted on 10/06/2018 11:32:23 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: ExTexasRedhead

ping


17 posted on 10/06/2018 11:33:23 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

YOU will never sit on the Supreme Court!


18 posted on 10/06/2018 11:34:27 AM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham ("God is a spirit, and man His means of walking on the earth.")
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To: sodpoodle

I guess I’ve been around sailors and other rough men in various lines of work too long. I don’t even notice the swearing some here do.


19 posted on 10/06/2018 11:35:24 AM PDT by Boomer (#FightMeTooLiars)
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To: Hammerhead; bramps
the remark about fn’ing retards. get it?

Your son is not retarded. He's autistic. There's a huge difference, and, with respect, you do your son disservice by conflating the two.

20 posted on 10/06/2018 11:39:42 AM PDT by Lazamataz (On future maps, I suggest we remove the word "California" and substitute "Open-Air Asylum".)
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