Skip to comments.Recently Pardoned Turkey Found Dead After Claiming To Have Dirt On Hillary Clinton
Posted on 11/26/2018 5:30:51 PM PST by NRx
WASHINGTON, D.C.A turkey recently pardoned by President Trump was found dead after claiming to have dirt on the Clintons, sources at the FBI confirmed Monday.
The official cause of death was suicide, though the bullet wounds were in the back of the turkey's head and the bird lacked opposable thumbs with which to operate a firearm.
The turkey had been publicly pardoned for the crime of being delicious and set free by Trump in a popular White House Thanksgiving tradition. Shortly after being released, the turkey confirmed its possession of "credible" information that would lead to the indictment of Hillary Clinton, posting on the bird's social media account that it was a good thing Trump had pardoned the turkey, so the world could find the truth out about the Clintons.
Metro police discovered the turkey's body the next morning, shot twice in the back of the head and stabbed in the back. There was a nearby handwritten note confirming that the death was "not fowl play."
BB has SO eclipsed The Onion!
Officials have declared that the death was a suicide.
All we are saying
is give Peas a chance!
Seriously, this is a parody? No, man, I am pretty sure this happened. Its happened often enough.
Imagine Whirled Peas
I came, I saw, I laughed!
Wife and I thank you for the laugh of the day!
But was the body found in Fort Marcy Park?
Was the turkey named “Vince”?
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