Posted on 11/26/2018 11:42:42 PM PST by Gamecock
(Satire)
GRANTS PASS, OR—Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of global warming: local kid Oliver Paulson, who left the front door wide open dozens of times while the heater was on this past weekend.
Every time the boy runs inside from playing, he leaves the front door open, and it looks like we're all going to pay the price from his carelessness.
"Are we heating the whole neighborhood!?" his father bellowed Saturday afternoon after Paulson dashed inside. Little did his dad know that they were actually heating not only the whole neighborhood, but also the entire world. "Someone around here must have stock in the gas company!" he added, but to no avail. The damage had been done.
Climate scientists estimate the globe will be in turmoil within a few short years, all because little Oliver was apparently "born in a barn."
Experts warned that it may be too late to reverse the damage, but suggested that kids "close the dang door" anyway just in case we can all still be saved from our fiery fate.
Can’t we just start taxing childish behavior?
Oliver sucks!! Down with Oliver!!
Perhaps if we could get the kids to leave the refrigerator doors open it would cancel the effect of leaving their front doors open?
Funny...
Oliver now identifies as Olivia.. You should feel awful about yourself. Just awful.
Perhaps there are too many people who have shifted their fear of hellfire and damnation to the broiler plate of Global Warming.
My parents came to visit me in my first apartment I got to work at my first job. It was about 95 degrees. My dad came in, leaving the front door open. He cranked down the thermostat as he passed into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and freezer doors and stood there. I asked, “What are you doing?” He looked at me and said, “Paying you back.”
That’s easy enough to correct. Just leave the door open all summer and come January it’ll be nice and cool.
ROFLMAOPIMP!!!
My Dad would have loved that !!!
My oldest child purchased an old couch and put it in the basement for me to jump on when I visit. Child heeded my warnings!
My German Shepherd does the same thing. She knows how to open the patio door and get in but never closes it. We had to tape the freezer door shut as she learned how to self serve a nice roast to herself too.
Maybe she should run for a guberment office?
apparently billion heir Beto is the one responsible for all of this hot air
Beto O’Rourke leaves door open to 2020 presidential run
CNN ^ | November 26, 2018 | Eric Bradner
http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3708706/posts
always told the kids, may you someday have kids just like you...
Bkm
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