Skip to comments.‘Ex-Gay’ Men Fight Back Against View That Homosexuality Can’t Be Changed
Posted on 01/06/2019 10:08:16 AM PST by SeekAndFind
LOS ANGELES For most of his life, Blake Smith said, every inch of my body craved male sexual contact.
Mr. Smith, 58, who says he believes homosexual behavior is wrong on religious grounds, tried to tough it out. He spent 17 years in a doomed marriage while battling his urges all day, he said, and dreaming about them all night.
But in recent years, as he probed his childhood in counseling and at mens weekend retreats with names like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, my homosexual feelings have nearly vanished, Mr. Smith said in an interview at the house in Bakersfield, Calif., he shares with his second wife, who married him eight years ago knowing his history. In my 50s, for the first time, I can look at a woman and say shes really hot.
Mr. Smith is one of thousands of men across the country, often known as ex-gay, who believe they have changed their most basic sexual desires through some combination of therapy and prayer something most scientists say has never been proved possible and is likely an illusion.
Ex-gay men are often closeted, fearing ridicule from gay advocates who accuse them of self-deception and, at the same time, fearing rejection by their church communities as tainted oddities. Here in California, their sense of siege grew more intense in September when Gov. Jerry Brownsigned a law banning use of widely discredited sexual conversion therapies for minors an assault on their own validity, some ex-gay men feel.
Signing the measure, Governor Brown repeated the view of the psychiatric establishment and medical groups, saying, This bill bans nonscientific therapies that have driven young people to depression and suicide, adding that the practices will now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
In the NYTs?! There has to be an ulterior motive with this article.
I was thinking the same thing, even after reading the article.
Too funny. Happens all the time, especially lesbian women. I know 5 who used to be gay, 3 of them diehard, man haters. No religion involved. They “just got over it.” Some married now, with kids.
Men largely become gay due to grooming and molestation early. Heck, the Alter Boys are the farm team for gay priests. I’ve seen it happen, growing up in a catholic church.
Women, not so much grooming. Maybe molestation, but usually the father or close male relative. Some do it as a fad. Some are just nuts.
I feel for the people that are shamed into thinking they can’t change. Homosexuality is a rejection of ‘self’ and your core identity is your gender. Therefore you reject your gender.
If the central defining point of my existence were that I like women (I'm a man, who likes women) and I made my entire life about that, I would have a severely hollow life and I would probably waste the entire thing complaining and self-fascinated with how people regarded my attraction to women.
In other words, whether you are experiencing yourself as gay or straight or some rainbowy continuum thing ... YOU ARE IN TROUBLE ... if it's so important to you that you consider it 'what I am.'
You might as well say 'who you are' is defined by how much snot comes out of your nose, and what exact color, when you sneeze.
I don't really have an opinion about the Godlessness or Godfulness of people who are gay. But anyone who finds this aspect of themselves, a bodily and worldly attraction, to be their central defining characteristic, is probably going to have a difficult time experiencing God. You have the get the 'I AM' of life correct before you can get the soul IN FACT connected to anything.
End of rant, back to work.
Homosexuality is a behavior.
Behaviors are complex, we are not amoebas. But all behaviors can be modified.
Science can’t “prove” if the homo guy is changed or not changed to hetero. just like it can’t prove that one can be a woman trapped in a male body. How can science prove “states of mind”?
The best we have is observed changes of behavior and attitudes. I’m glad for the man that God has freed him from his abhorrent behavior and is living a righteous life! Any detractors including judgmental skeptical freepers should let it go and just accept it that God does convert and change people...more so than what ever gets reported! Paul spoke of those who wouldn’t see heaven and used this phrase...”as were some of you...”(which included former homos, adulterers, fornicators, thieves, sorcerers, drunkards....the whole...shall we say “sinful rainbow” who had been converted and washed clean by the blood of the lamb). The man might face some temptations as he is still has to contend with the flesh...so will the rest of us!
At 58 his sexual urges have diminished. Shocking.
You mean, you’re not “proud” to be heterosexual? We won’t see you performing “acts” in the straight-pride parade?
You know what gay dudes, knock yourselves out. Just keep that bleep among yourselves and quit shoving your agenda in front of my face. I bet I’m not alone in being sick and tired of this very, very small minority of the population dominating so much of public discourse these days.
This article says ‘scientists say’ where it should say ‘homosexual advocates say’. The homosexuals want conversion therapy banned because they know in some cases it works and that makes them feel bad.
“In the NYTs?! There has to be an ulterior motive with this article.”
There’s probably something coming down the pike which will, once and for all, PROVE that conversion therapy often works, and they want to be in front of it.
But note that conversion therapy has been outlawed in virtually all of the Leftist states and nothing is likely to change that. So the Times waited as long as they could get away with, but are now getting on the right side of the issue.
Interesting that they never condemn anyone for *coming out*, but when they want they want to become straight, it's *impossible*, and coerced.
“Too funny. Happens all the time, especially lesbian women. I know 5 who used to be gay, 3 of them diehard, man haters.”
You’re pretty much on to it, really no comparison between men and women in this area. Women simply do it to PROVE that they are a true Feminist to the sisterhood, and that they can do JUST FINE, thank you, without men. Most women outgrow that thought pattern sometime around age 10, but a few carry it to adulthood...but even so, many still outgrow it later, as you said.
Guys - they’re simply messed up, typically by ‘trusted’ adults, as you said.
Im disgusted by what I see in media. They rub this filth in our faces and expect us to welcome their deviance as normal. I fear for our youths.
As George Costanza said in his famous pick up line, “I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body” .
Very interesting and informative.
I’d say that was a pretty even-handed article, so good on the NYT and thanks for sharing it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.