Can You Run A Car On What Comes Out Of Your Butt?

jalopnik.com ^ | 1/10/14 | Jason Torchinsky

[a little elbow grease]

Good news, ass-havers! The answer is yes. Even better news is that the vast majority of what's likely to be expelled from your butt has potential to run a car, which is likely the best use for anything that comes out of any butt anywhere. So let's see how this ass-power works.

….... two of the most common forms of ass ejecta, flatus and feces. From these two human exhaust products, there's two primary elements that can be harvested to use to run a car: methane and hydrogen.

100ml isn't a hell of a lot— in fact, it's about 0.026 of a gallon, so that means you'd need just over a month to make a gallon of outgas. It would take you months and months to fill an 8 gasoline gallon equivalent (GGE) tank like the one in the Honda Civic CNG.

Oh, and remember, of that 100 ml fart, only 30% of that (at best) is methane — so to do this right, you'd want to pool a whole community of farts. It's really the only way.

How best to do this? I'd suggest some sort of bladder-filled fart-collector underpants, which would be both sexy and practical. If we had a large group of fart-producing citizens wearing flatus-collection unmentionables and "uploading" their production to a shared facilities, the methane could be extracted from the flatus, compressed, and placed into standard pressurized CNG tanks, ready to drive your Civic to the next In-And-Out, beginning the cycle anew.

Incredible. Essentially free energy as long as everyone's willing to walk around with a rubber tube up their ass. I can't think of a better way for someone to prove their commitment to the environment and energy independence than that.

[a little elbow grease]

For any enviro-whackos here is a way to prove their deep commitment to the environment and energy independence.

[a little elbow grease]

..... in earlier days.

[I want the USA back]

Shows what enviro-wackos are full of.

[spokeshave]

The Japanese Poop-Mobile

[albie]

Mr Methane can!

[Carl Vehse]

Here's a farmer loading up his tank of gas:

[Sirius Lee]

Rose petals? I don’t know if a car can run on rose petals and fresh air.

[be-baw]

At work I often had to wear a four-gas monitor on my belt. The only alarm that would go off when I cut the cheese while in the car was the one for carbon monoxide. Combustible gases (i.e. methane) did not.

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

Actually, carbon monoxide IS combustible. Carbon dioxide is not.

[I-ambush]

No, Honey. I’m providing for the family.

[be-baw]

“Actually, carbon monoxide IS combustible.”

I wondered if it was when I was writing my post. Didn’t bother to check. Thanks for the info.

[a little elbow grease]

"If hydrogen engines are more your thing, then those same fart-collecting underpants could be employed for that as well. In fact, it'd be even better, since everyone has hydrogen in their farts, and, the mean amount of hydrogen is around 20%, ranging from 3%-34%."

"Hydrogen internal combustion engines are basically the same as normal ones, just built stronger and to better tolerances. They're more expensive, but they do produce about 20% more power than equivalent gasoline engines, so that's the fun fuel to get out of your ass."

_________________

"fart-collecting underpants" ---

Eco-friendly Patagonia may be interested in making some of these.

[a little elbow grease]

"At work I often had to wear a four-gas monitor on my belt. The only alarm that would go off when I cut the cheese while in the car was the one for carbon monoxide."

__________

[Telepathic Intruder]

All the alkanes are flammable, including methane. Liquified methane is not too different than propane, and is even odorless in pure form. What’s produced by animals is not exactly in pure form.

[G Larry]

It works for the DNC.....

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Or one could wear one of these;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsNZio6BHJk

[be-baw]

Clever. What was on the right that was cut off?

[dforest]

Can we not discuss this? ooh yuck

[gov_bean_ counter]

And if you happened to have had corn the day before, all the better....

[bigbob]

Let’s have AL GORE try it first, if it won’t work with his output, it never will.