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Dog Days
email from a FReeper | 9/15/2019 | unknown

Posted on 09/15/2019 6:18:27 AM PDT by sodpoodle

A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend - he calls home.

“Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!” “That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

“Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says, “and I’ll get him in the course.” So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

“So, how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his Father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his Father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?” “Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

So, she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

“Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does.”

“Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, ‘So - is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?’”

The Father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!”

“I sure did, Daddy!

“That’s my boy!”


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: funnystuff; nasty
The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school, he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, and you already know what a liar his girlfriend turned out to be!
1 posted on 09/15/2019 6:18:27 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: Rio

ping;)


2 posted on 09/15/2019 6:18:57 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Too funny!


3 posted on 09/15/2019 6:21:02 AM PDT by Jan_Sobieski (Sanctification)
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To: sodpoodle
More succinct joke on the same topic, a boy in college who's writing home to ask for money:

No mon, no fun, your son.
How sad, too bad, your Dad.

4 posted on 09/15/2019 6:23:27 AM PDT by Steely Tom ([Seth Rich] == [the Democrat's John Dean])
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To: Jan_Sobieski

Jerry Clower did this story up right.

https://youtu.be/EXI9oz07xP8


5 posted on 09/15/2019 6:33:46 AM PDT by hardspunned
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To: hardspunned

“Jerry Clower did this story up right.”
*

Lol, back in the day; when guys like Jerry Clower, Red Fox, Justin Wilson, etc, we’re making what then were referred to as party records these guys were the best. I used to have a Jerry Clower cassette but alas it’s been gone for a long time. Couldn’t play it I still had it.


6 posted on 09/15/2019 6:49:33 AM PDT by snoringbear (,W,E.oGovernment is the Pimp,)
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To: snoringbear

I don’t think Jerry could survive in this PC run amok world. I remember one of his stories was entitled The She Coon of Women’s Lib.


7 posted on 09/15/2019 6:55:12 AM PDT by hardspunned
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To: snoringbear

better than Rudy Ray Moore?


8 posted on 09/15/2019 7:00:46 AM PDT by bankwalker (Immigration without assimilation is an invasion.)
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To: snoringbear

Download it...it’s out there. Just listened to him yesterday at lunch time. “Just shoot up here amongst us. One of us will get some relief!”


9 posted on 09/15/2019 7:58:44 AM PDT by Mathews (Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV), Luke 22:36 (NIV))
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To: sodpoodle

If Clinton had a son.


10 posted on 09/15/2019 8:05:39 AM PDT by antidemoncrat
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To: sodpoodle

And that’s the
Rest of the Story!


11 posted on 09/15/2019 9:03:35 AM PDT by Big Red Badger (Despised by the Despicable!)
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To: antidemoncrat

“If Clinton had a son”

he would be better looking than Clinton’s daughter.


12 posted on 09/15/2019 10:23:01 AM PDT by oldenuff35
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To: snoringbear
I used to have a Jerry Clower cassette but alas it’s been gone for a long time.

Jerry was a big success on tapes at truck stops one of top sellers. I think you can find all his stuff on YouTube, I had all of them on MP3 at one time, may still have them somewhere.

13 posted on 09/15/2019 1:29:07 PM PDT by itsahoot (Welcome to the New USA where Islam is a religion of peace and Christianity is a mental disorder.)
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