Posted on 05/12/2020 1:24:49 AM PDT by Norski
FRESNO, CA—Windbreak Spirit Pentecostal Church announced last week that they would be holding drive-in Sunday services, but all participants will be required to have hydraulics installed on their cars.
With the liberal use of hydraulics, Pentecostal drive-in services can have the same energy and wild jumping around that their normal, in-person services have.
"In order to better facilitate a Spirit-filled worship time, all cars must be rollin' on phat hydraulics," said Pastor Vince Esperanza. "That way you can jump and sway along with the songs and make your car do crazy flips and stuff when the dope bridge hits."
As the church held its service this sunday, the fleet of worshipers' cars in front of the building started slowly bouncing along to "Holy Spirit." When the bridge of "Reckless Love" hit, though, the parking lot was bumping, with cars leaping from side to side and front to back as though an earthquake was ripping through the property.
"The Lord's power moves among us!" Esperanza shouted as the car carrying his pulpit started rocking like a boat in a hurricane. "Bounce in your dope whips, errybooooodyyyyyyy!!!"
A new experimental type of hydraulics will even allow the cars to roll around when the driver is truly moved by the Holy Spirit.
rofl. This is hysterical.
Honest, I Love the enthusiasm at those masses.
It beats me falling asleep in the back pew during mass :)
It’s just A little good natured ribbing and that never hurt anyone :)
They should bring back the stick that had a hard knob on one end and a feather on the other when the ladies fell asleep.
I’d be happy to lend them mine.
Windbreak?
Rosetta Stone for when the Holy Spirit drives you to speak in tongues.
Babylon Bee, thanks for the laugh...
How does one fall out and get slain in the spirit while seated in a car, recline the seat?
I am SO torn between thinking this is hysterical, and thinking it’s deeply disrespectful of a worship style that may not be my own, but is shared by a lot of people I respect and admire.
It is a really funny image, though.
But really disrespectful.
And hilarious.
I went to a church like this for a short time to appease my employer at the time. Rollin in the aisles, speaking in tongues.
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