Posted on 06/29/2020 6:47:26 AM PDT by sodpoodle
THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
Tom was driving home from a business trip in Northern Arizona when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the man got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Tom tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo man. The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Tom.
'What in bag?' asked the old man.
Tom looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.'
The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said:
'Good trade.....'
ROFL.
The secret Service Agent asked; “What’s with the pig?”
Bill replied; “I got it for Hillary.”
“Good trade.”
A Tennessee grad, Alabama grad, and an Auburn grad were sitting together in a bar drinking...They all got up together to go to the bathroom...
After the Bama grad finished, he turned the water on cold and very light...Just got a dab of soap on his fingertips and ashed quick...he looked at the other two and said, “At Alabama, they taught us thriftiness...”
The Auburn grad stepped to the sink, turned the hot water on full, soaped up to his elbows and scrubbed and scrubbed...He looked at the others and said, “At Auburn, they taught us cleanliness...”
The Tennessee grad looked at the two and walked toward the door...The two said, “Aren’t you going to wash???”
Tennessee grad looked back and said, “At Tennessee, they taught us not to piss on our hands...”
I traded half my stuff for freedom from my ex.
Worth every penny!
Tennessee grad looked back and said, “At Tennessee, they taught us not to piss on our hands...”
“And then the Auburn and Alabama grads said, ‘Apparently they didn’t teach you how to win football games either.’”
All time records:
Alabama———————3rd
Tennessee——————13th
Auburn-———————19th
Hey now! Not bad for the Vols!
Maybe just some tough times recently. Happens.
National Football Championships:
Alabama——————12
Tennessee-—————6
Auburn———————2
Exactly...
Firing Phil Fulmer was a stupid mistake...
Alabama or Auburn.
Years ago, my cousin had two kids at college. One at Alabama. One at Auburn. At the same time.
Hoo Wee.
That was fun....LOL
Only rivalry I can think of that’s greater than Alabama/Auburn football would be Duke/ North Carolina basketball...
Or University of Texas vs. A&M anything.
Told as a true story by a friend of mine - “George”. He’s a fun-loving guy, and will say anything to anybody to try and get a friendly conversation started.
George was driving through Alabama the week of the Alabama/Auburn game, and stopped at a diner for lunch.
He saw a state trooper in full uniform, and asked the man, “Say, Mr. State Trooper, when Alabama plays Auburn, who do you Troopers root for?”
The Trooper turned to George with his mirrored sunglasses, pointed to the shoulder patch on his uniform, and said rather menacingly, “It don’t say AUBURN State Trooper, do it, Cowboy?”
That’s pretty close also...
Has that game lost any luster since A&M moved to the SEC????
I always thought it funny that since Auburn is a great agriculture and Veterinary school, it’s sometimes called “Moo U”...
Yeah. But overall bragging rights are still strong.
Then there’s Texas vs. OU.
I look at instate rivalries stronger than state to state, but I know what you mean...Ohio State/Michigan is another...
A man is pulled over for speeding.
The cop says “Look, it’s almost shift change. I’d really prefer not to write you a ticket. If you can give me an original excuse for speeding, I’ll let you go with a warning.”
The man thought a minute then replied “My ex ran off with a police officer. I thought you were trying to return her.”
No ticket.
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