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JUST ASKINí XXVII (Firehat's latest) ^ | 2005-10-26 | Norman Liebmann

Posted on 10/27/2005 5:07:15 AM PDT by Maria S

Just askin’: Now that Hillary is advocating that convicted felons be given the right to vote, does it mean in Chicago dead felons get to vote twice? And if these felons are bused to the polling place, will they have to take cabs back to the cemetery?

Just askin’: Has there ever been any other rock ‘n’ roller around as boring as Bono?

Just askin’: Will history designate Bill Clinton as the first full-blown President?

Just askin’: Is Helen Thomas’ countenance a complexion or a collision? Did she always look like that, or did the doctors just take the bandages off too soon?

Just askin’: When gays come out of the closet, is that a human voice or a recording saying “… and stay out!”

Just askin’: Is the “bird flu” a mutation of the Y2K bug?

Just askin’: When exactly was it that the mainstream media fell out of love with Jesse Ventura?

Just askin’: Should we have gotten suspicious about the Oil For Food program after seeing the United Nations parking lot full of Brinks trucks with diplomatic license plates?

Just askin’: Now that Cindy Sheehan is threatening to tie herself to the fence outside the White House, isn’t it a bigger threat that she might eventually get loose?

Just askin’: Even when the Senate is in session how does Trent Lott manage to stay mentally adjourned?

Just askin’: Is there a Malik Zulu Shabazz in every woodpile?

Just askin’: Why, oh why, oh why is the Bush Administration waiting around for Islam to launch the first nuclear strike?

Just askin’: Shouldn’t the Iraqis get Saddam Hussein’s execution out of way so they can get on with his trial?

Just askin’: Is Barbra Streisand the Jewish Yoko Ono?

Just askin’: Didn’t Teddy Kennedy pull off the most successful underwater escape since Houdini?

Just askin’: Isn’t it time computer hacking was made a capital offense?

Just askin’: How many times in each of his movies does Woody Allen come up with the word “because” as his only reason for getting a girl to go to bed with him?

Just askin’: If Saddam Hussein is found guilty, will the United Nation take away his library card?

Just askin’: Has CIA agent Valerie Plame been “outted” or, to put it more accurately, “out-housed”?

Just askin’: Will Steven Spielberg sue for plagiarism if the State of Arkansas changes its name to Jurasshole Park?

Just askin’: Whatever became of Teresa Heinz Kerry? And what took it so long?

Just askin’: Are pizza delivery boys/girls and paramedics the last people in America still making house calls?

Just askin’: After death, do gays succumb completely to rigor mortis or do their wrists remain limp?

Just askin’: Did the Egyptians who built the pyramids have a translation for the term window shades?

Just askin’: When will some black people realize there’s more to life for black people than just being black?

Just askin’: Is it too late for Kofi Annan to offer Enron a seat on The Security Council?

Just askin’: Now that minorities have declared Bill Clinton the first black President, will they declare Hillary Clinton the first white Oprah?

Just askin’: For all of Dan Rather’s whining and lamenting about what the mainstream media has become, what was he doing at CBS during the last fifty years when the news hit the fan?

Just askin’: When same-sex people marry anywhere in the world do they automatically acquire Canadian citizenship?

Just askin’: Would the American people be inclined to be more generous if they had not already been supporting the people of New Orleans for the last fifty years.

Just askin’: Will Kanye West’s insistence that George Bush hates black people turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Just askin’: After a destructive hurricane, can anyone think of a single helpful suggestion that came out of a university?

Just askin’: How much does it cost every time someone at NASA says "Oops"?

(Answer to the nearest billion.)

Just askin’: Will O.J. Simpson volunteer to help Jan Van Der Sloot find the real killers of Natalie Holloway?

Just askin’: What do matadors wear on Halloween? And are their pajamas just as loud?

Just askin’: Will former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey write a book called “Men’s Rooms I Have Worked”?

Just askin’: When did Andrea Mitchell decide that Alan Greenspan was the man of her dreams – before he raised the prime rate or after he lowered his pants?

Just askin’: If the rain in Spain falls mainly in the plains, does the musk in mosques get mustier after dusk?

Just askin’: On what basis did Gwyneth Paltrow say she doesn’t want to continue living in America - since she resides in Hollywood, which hardly qualifies as being in America? And is it just a matter of time until they change Hollywood’s name to Glitzburg?

Just askin’: Will the people of New Orleans blame the Army Corps of Engineers every time one of their wishing wells backs up?

Just askin’: Isn’t it by now crystal clear that “political correctness” is infinitely more offensive than Polish jokes ever were? And why is it politically correct to talk about Africanized bees, but not talk about even more - Africanized politics?

And isn’t it more politically correct to discuss things without talking about them or talking about them without discussing them?

Just askin’: Is it possible that Mozart’s wife got to a point of realizing there is just so much of Mozart even she could listen to?

Just askin’: When people in Vermont buy fruit cakes do they get feelings of déjà vu?

Just askin’: Is it a coincidence that looters come predominantly in one color?

Just askin’: How many centuries did it take for the Arabs to make the Sahara Desert unfit for human habitation?

Just askin’: Will Cindy Sheehan be remembered as Joan of Ugh?

and …

Just askin’: Is Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” a title of his movie or a suggestion?


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
"Firehat" always cheers me up when all seems gloomy!
1 posted on 10/27/2005 5:07:15 AM PDT by Maria S
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To: Maria S; firehat

OUCH! :)

2 posted on 10/27/2005 5:29:47 AM PDT by upchuck (I BELIEVE CONGRESSMAN WELDON! Rumsfeld: go kick butt and fix this!!)
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To: Maria S
"Will history designate Bill Clinton as the first full-blown President? "

Ooh that's gonna leave a mark...

3 posted on 10/28/2005 10:51:16 AM PDT by Mr. K (Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help...)
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To: Maria S


4 posted on 10/28/2005 10:56:56 AM PDT by sport
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To: Maria S
Just askin’: When people in Vermont buy fruit cakes do they get feelings of déjà vu?

Kind of an Alfred Packer moment?

5 posted on 10/28/2005 11:07:17 AM PDT by MileHi ( "It's coming down to patriots vs the politicians." - ovrtaxt)
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