Posted on 02/08/2009 11:24:28 AM PST by DogByte6RER
AN OPEN LETTER TO KELLOGG'S
February 8, 2009 --
Whereas . . .
1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans.
2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of 12 would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.
3) That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.
4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.
5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and then later they sat in the living room and listened the "Dark Side Of The Moon" over and over and danced and I swear we smelled something.
6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - John Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believed in yogurt enemas.
7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.
Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products. And we're serious.
Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Perfect!
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Who wrote that letter, Tommy Chong?
Barack’s speech writer, while sucking a fattie?
Duuuuude. Did you google John Harvey Kellogg? Whackjob, man! Pure whackjob.
Like, dudes, totally spark a bowl and read this!
Eeeewwwww!
Hilarious open letter. :)
More proof that the people at huffington consider idiocy to be just another form of intellect.
“A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision...The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind...In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement. “ — Dr. John Harvey Kellogg
What the?>>><<<
“...idiocy (is) just another form of intellect.”
Did you, by any chance, get that line from a political cartoon about Zionism from about thirty years ago? if so, it’s one I clipped and saved.
I’m here to tell you...that circumcision thing? Only temporary.
Temporary remedy? haha.
I was never so pleased as the day I heard that excessive ... hrumph .... would decrease the likelihood of prostate cancer... I AM SAVED AND CANCER FREE!
Absolutely. Jeff MacNelly. Passed away a few years ago, and illustrated several Dave Barry books, the best being “Homes and other Black Holes.” I clipped and saved that toon also. My favorite part was the countries: Uganda, Weganda, Theyganda and the Fun Republic of Chuckles.
And it only works once.
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