"CBS knows we're ahead in the ground race. We have fixed everything - and we're only sorry they killed the suspense! Part of the fun is in getting people to believe Mitt Romney has a chance. Not from where the President stands. And that my dear friends - is the absolute truth! Who would you believe, the Republicans or our CBS affiliate? And that is the only thing that really matters - being an Information Minister is such a great privilege - and you can quote me on it."