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A red state-blue state divorce plan: Secessionists, here's how some of us want to divide the country
The Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune ^ | November 23, 2012 | Paul Vandevelder

Posted on 11/23/2012 6:42:26 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet

We in the blue states hear from the talking heads on Fox News and MSNBC that many of you in the red states are so distressed about the outcome of the elections that you would like to secede from the Union. Now, it seems that at least six of you -- Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia and North Carolina -- have submitted enough signatures (25,000) on petitions to the White House website to merit a formal response, with more petitions on the way.

We wish you the best of luck with this. We feel your pain. If we can speak frankly, it's been coming for a long, long time. The question now is: What's next?

First, we're happy to report that most people here in Oregon, Washington and California think you're really on to something. This marriage has run its course. Too many niggling little things built up over time, driving us all crazy. So let's just stop. It's time to divvy up the china and draft a property settlement. In the spirit of fairness and goodwill, we propose the following as a starting point.

We'll keep the West Coast, Nevada and Hawaii, New York, the rest of the Northeast and all the other states that turned blue on election night. You guys get Texas, Mississippi, the rest of the Confederacy and all the other states that turned red on election night. Alaska can do whatever it wants. It does what it wants anyway.

One caveat here. We've been asked by the citizens of Austin, Texas, to give them sanctuary, so we'll keep Austin as a territorial protectorate, along with Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and Samoa, and you can have Key West...

(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Editorial; Government; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 2012; democrats; secede; secession
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Key West is gayer than a Maypole, no thanks.
1 posted on 11/23/2012 6:42:37 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Even though this one is a spoof, the idea has a lot of merit. The country is on the verge of collapse anyhow, and it might be best to break it up before the Chinese lay claim to the ruins of the whole place.


2 posted on 11/23/2012 6:45:12 PM PST by madprof98
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Blue states my butt. Most of those are red too.


3 posted on 11/23/2012 6:46:07 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: madprof98

You’re sure it’s a spoof?


4 posted on 11/23/2012 6:48:41 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

The joker author thinks he’s being so funny and sarcastic, but does he realize just how many tens of millions of us would take a separate country that consists of the former Confederate states, Texas, and the red states of the Midwest and Upper Midwest?? This blue state prisoner says please bring it on! I’ll relocate in a heartbeat, and I’m one of those pesky “makers” instead of a “taker”.


5 posted on 11/23/2012 6:48:53 PM PST by rockvillem
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Actually all we need to do is respect the tenth amendment. then red states and blue states can live the way they want. But if we must split up, the only fair way would be by county. The red counties would take almost everything, and the democrats can have the various blue city states engulfed in a sea of red states.


6 posted on 11/23/2012 6:51:14 PM PST by Vince Ferrer
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

To the Commie Prick who wrote this POS!: Just refer to yourself as the Communist States,...you’ve forever destroyed the idea of the color blue as comforting! As for the red states, Just refer to us as the Freedom and Liberty States! And by the way, Minnesota can shove its Obama bumper stickers right up it’s filthy fag Commie ass!


7 posted on 11/23/2012 6:52:46 PM PST by Doc Savage ("I've shot people I like a lot more,...for a lot less!" Raylan Givins)
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To: cripplecreek
Blue states my butt. Most of those are red too.

Exactly. Look at the county-by-county electoral map. Most of IL will be ours, for example.

8 posted on 11/23/2012 6:53:19 PM PST by Gluteus Maximus
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Haughty Yankee SOB can kiss my Rebel Ass. Is it any wonder why the South tried to depart this “glorious” union the first time? Who wants to be in the same country as these jerks.


9 posted on 11/23/2012 6:57:16 PM PST by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: rockvillem

Separation into autonomous regions is no joke, of which the author has not a clue. Autonomous governance need not be geographic. In the 21st century, technology can enable separations that need not be organized around existing, old state boundaries. It oculd be done, literally, at the level of each person. Even more importantly, I reject secession 100 percent and unequivocably. Americans already have a governing system unmatched in excellence. It is only the left that has, since the 1920s, wanted to depart from the American way. Let them sequester themselves in their urban enclaves and run their government the way they want. Then, maybe, they can stop trying to run my life and live off the great accomplishments of Americans.


10 posted on 11/23/2012 6:58:39 PM PST by iacovatx (Conservatism is the political center--it is not "right" of center)
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To: rockvillem

Separation into autonomous regions is no joke, of which the author has not a clue. Autonomous governance need not be geographic. In the 21st century, technology can enable separations that need not be organized around existing, old state boundaries. It oculd be done, literally, at the level of each person. Even more importantly, I reject secession 100 percent and unequivocably. Americans already have a governing system unmatched in excellence. It is only the left that has, since the 1920s, wanted to depart from the American way. Let them sequester themselves in their urban enclaves and run their government the way they want. Then, maybe, they can stop trying to run my life and live off the great accomplishments of Americans.


11 posted on 11/23/2012 6:58:39 PM PST by iacovatx (Conservatism is the political center--it is not "right" of center)
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To: Vince Ferrer

The county thing ain’t going to work. It is state by state, sorry but if you live in a blue state you will have to vote with your feet.


12 posted on 11/23/2012 6:59:12 PM PST by central_va ( I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
I think that folks who want secession need to get real. That's just not in the cards. When secession didn't work in the 1860's, some of the folks who wanted out moved to Southern Brazil and became Confederados.

To this day, the Confederados proudly celebrate their heritage.

Isn't that better than sitting around whining about the United States and talking secession nonsense?

13 posted on 11/23/2012 6:59:18 PM PST by Tau Food (Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.)
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To: Gluteus Maximus

80% of the counties in the US are Red. Without San Francicaco,LA and NYC, this is a red country.


14 posted on 11/23/2012 6:59:24 PM PST by EQAndyBuzz (George W. Bush is the Emmanuel Goldstein of the modern era.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Yeah we need to give them Monroe, Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach counties


15 posted on 11/23/2012 7:00:51 PM PST by scottteng (Tax government employees til they quit and find something useful to do)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I am confused, am I supposed to get divorced in a red state or a blue state?


16 posted on 11/23/2012 7:01:49 PM PST by Freedom of Speech Wins
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To: iacovatx

IMHO, if you’ve got dirty people living with you, you don’t cut the house in half, you clean house.


17 posted on 11/23/2012 7:03:00 PM PST by PieterCasparzen (We have to fix things ourselves.)
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To: Vince Ferrer

That’s why I refuse to buy the red state blue state game. Its a liberal lie to hide their fear of what they know is true.

In fact when you get right down to the nitty gritty, even the large “blue” districts in places like Minnesota are more sparsely populated than liberal.


18 posted on 11/23/2012 7:03:53 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Tau Food
When secession didn't work in the 1860's

Today is a brand new world, and the power structure has changed. What proof do you have that 'it's just not in the cards'?

People were saying that about rumblings in the CCCP in the late 70's.

/johnny

19 posted on 11/23/2012 7:04:55 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Judge Andrew Napolitano: Revolution is Duty of the People

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af5KJ2aD8F0


20 posted on 11/23/2012 7:06:35 PM PST by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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