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Debate progress: Live updates! (satire)
Self | 9/26/16 | Self

Posted on 09/26/2016 11:57:21 AM PDT by VideoPaul

3:00 P{M: Hillary is being given the wake-me-up injection now. Handlers are changing her diaper and fitting the waste collection bags at this time. Pants suit at the ready...


TOPICS: Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cankles; debate; hillary; overheating
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1 posted on 09/26/2016 11:57:21 AM PDT by VideoPaul
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To: VideoPaul
Handlers are changing her diaper and fitting the waste collection bags at this time

I'm sure part of her debate preparation resembles a colonoscopy preparation.

2 posted on 09/26/2016 12:01:09 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Everywhere is freaks and hairies Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity?)
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To: VideoPaul

Local EMT service providers brushing up on seizure protocols.


3 posted on 09/26/2016 12:02:10 PM PDT by Rennes Templar (President Trump: It's all over but the counting)
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To: VideoPaul

All Hillary needs to do is not have a five minute coughing fit, seizure, or collapse to the floor during the debate, and the MSM will unanimously declare her the winner.


4 posted on 09/26/2016 12:04:15 PM PDT by Bubba_Leroy (Never Hillary)
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To: Rennes Templar

Hersef is being wheeled into the carwash shower now. She is being told, in slow, monosyllabic words in non-threatening tones, that yes, she must shower and wash her hair.


5 posted on 09/26/2016 12:04:40 PM PDT by VideoPaul
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To: Jeff Chandler

6 posted on 09/26/2016 12:07:39 PM PDT by dragnet2 (Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
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To: All

CNN has just declared that Hilary easily won the debate.


7 posted on 09/26/2016 12:09:19 PM PDT by mmichaels1970 (Hillary lied over four coffins.)
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To: VideoPaul

Trump can open the debate with, “Hillary, I hope your feeling better after collapsing recently”.


8 posted on 09/26/2016 12:11:55 PM PDT by dragnet2 (Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
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To: VideoPaul

9 posted on 09/26/2016 12:13:09 PM PDT by Bobalu (Trump Is The Bitch Slap This Country Needs)
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To: VideoPaul

Monday, 4 PM: NBC makes up a poll result that shows Hillary has won the debate by a 3 to 1 margin. The poll will be released the instant to debate ends.

5 PM: Afraid of being scooped, and afraid of making Hillary angry, ABC and CBS make up their own poll results. Both polls show that Hillary has won the debate by a 4 to 1 margin.

6 PM: MSNBC makes up a poll result that shows Hillary has won the debate by a zillion to 1. Since no one at MSNBC is good at math, no one there realizes that a “zillion” is not a real number.


10 posted on 09/26/2016 12:15:22 PM PDT by Leaning Right (Why am I holding this lantern? I am looking for the next Reagan.)
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To: VideoPaul

The man with the power sprayer is coming in with the makeup.


11 posted on 09/26/2016 12:15:50 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: VideoPaul

Hope she wears that orange pantsuit


12 posted on 09/26/2016 12:17:03 PM PDT by rainee (Her)
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To: Jeff Chandler

That’s why she needs the bigger podium. If they lay it down horizontally, they can fit her hospital around her


13 posted on 09/26/2016 12:18:59 PM PDT by georgiegirl (Count me in the half that's in the Deplorable Basket)
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To: Jeff Chandler

“Nurse! I need an iv drip of Jim Beam and Percocet, STAT!”


14 posted on 09/26/2016 12:26:21 PM PDT by T-Bone Texan (Don't be a lone wolf. Form up small leaderlesss cells ASAP !)
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To: Leaning Right

Less than six more hours until .... Thunderdome!
Trump is going to have to watch out for Thunderthigh’s dreaded Boa `thigh lock’ move; Illary will just be keeping an eye out, period.
(She killed a nice young lesbian chick with her deadly thighs once for snoring.)
Get ready to rrrrrumble!


15 posted on 09/26/2016 12:29:49 PM PDT by tumblindice (America's founding fathers: all armed conservatives.)
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To: Vermont Lt

3:30: Handlers have removed a week of personal yuck from Hillary’s body and have liberally applied deodorant. She is getting dressed by handlers who are themselves on powerful anti-emetics.


16 posted on 09/26/2016 12:29:51 PM PDT by VideoPaul
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To: T-Bone Texan

Does the podium have a wheelchair ramp......? How are they going to get the gurney up there after Trump’s first verbal jab?


17 posted on 09/26/2016 12:33:16 PM PDT by Trump_vs_Evil_Witch (Huma Abedin + Hillary Clinton => Muslim Brotherhood asset, lesbian spy ring)
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To: VideoPaul

See a preview of the questions to Hillary tonight.

Holt’s softball interview of his friend Hillary Clinton

Nightly News | January 29, 2016
Full Interview: Lester Holt Goes One-on-One With Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton sits down with Lester Holt in Des Moines, Iowa, in an exclusive interview ahead of the Iowa caucus.

http://www.nbcnews.com/video/nightly-news/58408973


18 posted on 09/26/2016 12:33:45 PM PDT by KeyLargo
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To: Trump_vs_Evil_Witch

3:40 PM: Hillary, having been wheeled into the dining room, is bring fed her blenderized breakfast: Metamucil, prunes, Geritol, and Claritin-D. The resulting bilge is fed into a feeding tube and drained into her gullet. Hillary is chipper and looking directly at people and objects that catch her attention through motion. Discussions are being had as to if the post-breakfast nap is actually needed.


19 posted on 09/26/2016 12:43:44 PM PDT by VideoPaul
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To: VideoPaul

3:50: Hillary’s secret service van, with the raised roof, has arrived. Havimg been stocked with a gurney, medical O2, defibrillator, tranquilizers, amphetamines, anti-psychotics and diet Sprite, the A/C has been turned dowb to 55 degrees to prevent overheating. Local hospitals have been put on stage one alert thst the candidate is about to be moved, surgeons standing by.


20 posted on 09/26/2016 12:48:41 PM PDT by VideoPaul
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