Nation Surprised To Learn Oscars Happened Last Night

Babylon Bee ^ | March 5, 2018 | B. Bee

[fishtank]

Nation Surprised To Learn Oscars Happened Last Night

March 5, 2018

U.S.—Expressing a mixture of confusion and indifference, millions of American citizens reported surprise Monday after learning that the Oscars happened last night.

[fishtank]

[fishtank]

In related news:

Man Who Got Famous Showing Scantily Clad Women Bouncing On Trampolines Lectures Nation On Sexual Propriety

http://babylonbee.com/news/man-got-famous-showing-scantily-clad-women-bouncing-trampolines-lectures-nation-sexual-propriety/

[COBOL2Java]

Oscars?

Meh.

[Ann Archy]

Dagen McDowell said it was like a bunch of toy poodles sniffing each other in a dog park!! LOL!

[SMGFan]

they knew , because Olympics were over , but few new shows Sunday night.

[Vigilanteman]

Surprised? How about "just didn't give a $#*+"?

Where is that "trying to give a damn" graphic when you need it?

Although I wasn't even trying.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

All the once great American institutions destroyed by leftists in our lifetimes.

* Christmas
* Men
* White men
* Education
* Government
* Rule of Law
* Oscar Awards
* Freedom to say what is on your mind without getting arrested, fired, or ostracized.
* NFL
* Confederate statues and battle flags
* Polite discourse with your neighbors
* Naming the enemy

[Rummyfan]

Dagen McDowell said it was like a bunch of toy poodles sniffing each other in a dog park!! LOL!

That is LOL!

[upchuck]

I can’t count myself among those that are surprised. I can, however, count myself among those, and we are legion, who just don’t care.

[P-Marlowe]

I watched the Billy Graham Special.

[samtheman]

They did?

[Rusty0604]

LOL

[Bigg Red]

:)

Time to give these overpaid adolescents the amount of attention they deserve.

[camle]

if you didn’t know these shows were going on last night, then you missed all the hype and etc...must have been unconscious

[43north]

Decisions, decisions. The Oscars will never be the same w/o Harvey Weinstein. If that fat ugly b@stard can make it with all of those gorgeous young babes why can’t I?

Or should I watch the tales of the moronic Mormon who can’t get enough distress from having just one wife and has four on “Sister Wives”? It was a marathon you know.

Nah, I’ll just catch the latest episode of The Walking Dead because all of the zombies behave like democrats.

[knarf]

The Living Dead .... HELLywood.

[robel]

I’d like to see them destroy themselves.

[heterosupremacist]

Untalented posers who congratulate each other for their mediocrity, and for their far-left political views. HWood should be nuked, they have not contributed anything positive to American culture since WWII! (Clint Eastwood, and only a few others are exempted...)

[knarf]

[DMZFrank]

Don’t forget the bulk of the US Armed Forces as a truly effective fighting organization against all likely enemies, academia, journalism, the US constitution, linear reasoning and reason itself, and even the scientific method. Name any institution upon which western civilization relies to maintain it’s greatness, then that is one that leftists and post-modernist cultural-marxists have attenuated or ruined.