Posted on 05/14/2018 1:37:35 PM PDT by Oldeconomybuyer
I don’t think I have the skills to easily assimilate into Donald Trump’s America. And that can mean only one thing: I should be deported.
It was a difficult conclusion to reach, but after listening to White House Chief of Staff John Kelly’s recent comments on undocumented immigrants, I see no other path forward.
Maybe I should self-deport. That’s part of the hope, of course, that by making America inhospitable to outsiders, some will just leave.
But I’m not going to do that. You know us unassimilated legal residents. We’re notoriously lazy.
No, the government is going to have to deport me, and to help in that effort, I’ll outline the obstacles to my assimilation into Trump’s version of America.
1) My culture and my Catholic upbringing are incompatible with the the idea that mothers and their children seeking asylum should be separated from each other once they enter the country.
2) I do speak English, but not in a way that’s compatible with the current language used by this administration and its supporters.
3) Lastly, the country I come from taught me to understand history and recognize that things called “facts” are worth considering.
The idea that immigrants don’t learn English, don’t assimilate, don’t contribute, take jobs from American workers, and are more prone to be criminals has been knocked down by study after study after study and is in no way supported by data.
I am unable to overlook these things and embrace the idea that we are being invaded by menacing hordes of disreputable others.
Those three flaws disqualify me from becoming a member of modern American society under President Trump. And that makes me an unassimilated foreigner in America.
So please send me back to my home country.
Truth be told, I miss it terribly.
(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...
Rex Huppke: In the tradition of Mike Royko, Chicago Tribune columnist Rex Huppke puts his wry spin on today’s social trends, pop-culture misfires and political blowhards, providing your readers with that rare combination of laughs and nod-along moments.
Bye.
5.56mm
Liars like Huppke and Streisand always say they will, but never do.
So leave already and take your liberal friends with you...
The bio under the picture leaves out the part about him being an obnoxious a-hole.
He’s a yob
Pack you sh*t, rex-the bus is coming
CC
Nope, not even 1/10th the talent.
Taking a walk down in the South Side past minight will be sufficient.
Not even close.
Round em up,ship em out.
I’ll be glad to help you pack.
OK!!
Now leave!!
It’s not inability to assimilate that’s not needed, it’s unwillingness. We don’t need a Balkanized America, but we also don’t expect everyone will be exactly the same. Diversity for the sake of diversity is dangerous.
Rex literally is a shitpacker and nothing he ever writes should be allowed here on freerepublic ever.
I agree. I was going to say the same thing but you beat me to the punch!
Adios m’fer.
L
Please. This little dope couldn't hold Royko's jockstrap.
Nice straw man argument. Notice he says “immigrants learn the language, etc.”, not that illegal aliens learn the language, etc. Typical left reframing of the argument.
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