And France is back . . . under German domination? Alors.
Vichy France is Back!
The Complete Military History of France
* Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar).
* Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: “France’s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.”
* Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians.
* Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
* Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
* War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
* The Dutch War - Tied
* War of the Augsburg League/King William’s War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
* War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
* American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as “de Gaulle Syndrome”, and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: “France only wins when America does most of the fighting.”
* French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
* The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
* The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France’s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
* World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.
* World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
* War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
* Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; “We can always beat the French.
* War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald’s.
They are too irresolute and opportunist to forge a meaningful common cause. They also need to stop accusing America of being the enemy.
More subsidies for euro businesses to cheat on trade
The ruling order in France is under great threat from its own people and are trying to save their own skins by demanding that - of all things - the Germans act to rescue them. Recent German attempts to strong-arm the Italians predictably blew up in their faces.
External threats from the USA?
More like from Austria, Hungary, Italy, Poland and Ukraine.
I guess France forgot Germany’s last 2.
We always have been considered a threat to them. Deep down there is a lot of resentment and dislike for this country in Europe. Why do you think there is an EU? It’s not purely economic they had always planned to have the largest economy and a military to challenge ours.
Why do you think they are allowing so many military age men into Europe? Military age men who hate the US and Israel. Think about it.