It has come to our attention that we are being made the scapegoats of everything the Pope says, as if we are not doing our jobs. This is inaccurate. We are not charged with perfection in translation.This may surprise many readers of this notice, but none of us on the Vatican Translation Team speak a second language at all! Really! Who knew, right?
I will explain our role here at Ground Zero...Vatican City or VC, as we call it.
First, a few short years ago, we were all homeless on the Streets of Argentina. Yes, this means that the translation office is a jobs program for homeless Argentinians. Through the kindness of the Great leaders at VC, 8 of us were recruited to a very fulfilling job with benefits. No more idle days of tango and wine. Today, we have fulfilling careers trying to make sense of what our Dear Papa says.
Many of us previously used Google Translate, so we had every qualification needed. Please note, our mission is to get the message out fast. You may have noticed our Great Pope speaks "off the cuff" quite frequently, or as we say here in VC, "between bites of pasta." And frankly, most of us on the team understand Our Great Pope is making up everything as he goes along, to make FRoman heads at FreeRepublic explode.
We assure you it is not easy to keep up and be at dinner on time!
For this reason, we are not charged with accuracy, but with speed. And frankly (no pun intended), we know Our Great Pope will say something contradictory tomorrow anyway, so there is that. We only need blinding speed for today. And between you and me, we are darned fast.
We don't like to miss meals. Done is done. Good enough, is good enough. Out the door and the door closed and locked in under 10 seconds! We're that good!
In this case, The GAP (Great and Amazing Pontif) said nothing about immigration. No!
He said "visitation." He was announcing his desire to visit children.
We blame The Evil Google for this mistranslation! Anathema to you Google!
We also blame the Evil Main Street Media for their bias in reporting this! Seven Fierce White Hot Anathemas upon you Evil Media!
We hope this clears up any misunderstanding of the GAP's actual message and get's us off the hook, so we can continue in this important role - and dinner!
Sincerely,
Luigi, Antonio, Giuseppe, Michael, Maria, Giovanna, Francesco, & Concetta
